If you haven’t already go and check out Olive Riley’s blog. She turns 108 today. Yes that’s right she’s over 100 years old. Her mate Mike actually does the blogging for her but she contributes to it and is a very active participant in the stories and movies he puts up on the blog.

Ollie, from a fellow Aussie blogger who’s nowhere near 108 years old, happy birthday to you. Congratulations on making it this far, on blogging and being a great storyteller.

Cheers.

First of all I’d really like to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Bless you.

Second of all I’d really like to thank (this is starting to feel like an acceptance speech) everyone who commented yesterday about what I wrote about my son. It was written a bit in the heat of the moment which probably isn’t a good time to write anything when emotion is involved like this but I don’t regret it.

I’ve had more time to think about things and I think he does need some help with raising his self-esteem and so that’s what we’ll do.

I’m not the only one who goes through these hard times and emotions and shares them with the internet. The gorgeous Jeanie shares her monthly madness (I’m glad I wasn’t in the supermarket that day). Mel feels like a failure as a mum, but really she’s only human and she’s SO not a failure. Petite Anglaise feels like her daughter was kidnapped by aliens and, gasp, had to drag her daughter out of pre-school once by the coat sleeve. I got a feeling of deja vu reading that. Reading these posts, and similar ones, points out to me that there are so many common experiences we share and they don’t make us bad people.

I’m sure there’s lots happening in all our lives that nobody else finds out about unless we tell them or we blog about it. And more often than not when we do blog about it we get so much support from other bloggers which brings me back to my thanks. It’s overwhelming, that when you feel a bit overwhelmed, people can virtually reach out and comfort.

So to change the subject and share my good news. I was offered a six month secondment at my work and I’ve taken it. I’ll be implementing a customer relationship management database which is quite different from what I’m doing now but I’ve been looking for a change and this one landed in my lap. It came with a payrise too.

The other night JJ and I went to an art gallery opening. It was work-related so there were quite a few colleagues there and heaps of other people for the huge space – around 500.

A photographer from The Adelaide Review was taking photos and wanted to take one of my son and I. Without prompting he told her that he was six and, ‘my mum is 40’.

‘Thanks’, I told him. ‘You don’t go around telling everyone my age!’

But would he be on the ball if the same thing happened today? You see I turn 41 today. Where did that last year go? This time last year I was preparing for a huge party.

After she took the photo I gave her my card and asked her to email the photos to me as I don’t get that many photos of us two together.

This year’s birthday celebration is much quieter. I’ve invited some family and a few friends around for a Sunday afternoon session.

I’ve been told by more than one person that I come across as quite confident, but there’s a scared person in there that’s usually hidden quite well – until now that is. This is what scares me.

1. Confrontations. I hate confrontations. I fear I’m not that good at standing up for myself and generally try to avoid them wherever possible, but if push comes to shove then I will stand up for myself. I’ve done this a couple of times this year. That is, I’ve said something where I normally not have and it’s turned out better than I expected. The issue has been resolved one way or another and life has moved on without any relationship breakdowns. In fact things have improved – in one case that comes to mind anyway. 
2. Snakes. I’ve always hated snakes. They terrify me. When we were on Kangaroo Island early last year, we went to a wildlife park. The last thing the owner showed us was his python. He walked around with it and put it on people’s shoulders. Wherever he went I was as far away as possible. But I was distracted by holding a baby possum and the snake snuck up on my and ended up on my shoulders (put there by the wildlife park owner). I stood there, knowing that it was not a poisonous snake, but the wildlife park owner’s wife told her husband off for putting the snake on me while I was holding a baby possum as it might be a good snack. Great I thought, the snake will try and eat the possum. It didn’t, and it didn’t make any untoward moves on me and I survived. I also used to have a recurring dream about snakes when I was a kid. It was a bit Indiana Jones, in that I was surrounded by them with no way out. Dream experts would probably have a field day with that one.
3. Public speaking. Isn’t everyone terrified of public speaking? Well, most people are as it rates right up there with my number 4, death. As I recently announced here I will be speaking at a conference early next year and the thought has my bum knitting socks as my friend would say.
4. Death. My own death frightens me. I don’t want to go in an awful way and I don’t want to go early. I especially don’t want to leave my son an orphan. That scares me. While we’re on the subject of death I don’t want my son to die before I do. I think about it sometimes and I hate that I think about it but am powerless to keep those thoughts away. I literally have to shake my head to get rid of them, and start thinking about something not so morbid. I’m also dreading when anyone in my immediate family dies. I know it’s inevitable (unless I do go first) but I don’t want it to happen anyway. I also know that when it does, I will deal with it in my way, whichever way that is.

These are the main things that scare me and overall they’re not really that bad either because they can be overcome, or because they’re inevitable. The things that can be overcome are ones I can do things about, and that’s what I strive to do.

This is for Scribbit’s October Write-Away contest.