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Goodbye 2020

January 1, 2021 by Jen

Living Christmas tree.

As I sit down at my computer on 1 January 2021 to write a job application that’s due at midnight in 2 days, I’m already procrastinating on that to write here. Here being a place that has sat collecting dust for nearly 2 years. I think about this site occasionally, but it’s only recently that I’ve even had the inclination to write anything.

Today being the first day of a new year is usually the time to reflect on the past year. And what a year that was. It started as a year of hope. I hoped that the job I had been doing would be made ongoing as I’d been on I don’t know how many contracts for 6 years. Then COVID hit, we lost half our team and it became very apparent that my time was limited in that job. I finally finished there 2 days before another lockdown happened in November and started a new (contract) job the day before South Australia went into a hard lockdown. So while things didn’t go as I’d hoped I was lucky in that I actually had a job during the year unlike so many other people. And while my current contract isn’t a long-term one I had news just before the end of the 2020 working year that there’s more work for me there.

I’ve been working on a contracts of a year or shorter (some have been 2 months) for the last 10 years so I don’t stress as much about where the next one might be coming from now like I did earlier. And those many contracts have been at 2 work places, until the recent move making that 3 workplaces. As a couple of friends have said to me recently, ‘all will be well’ and so far it has been on the workfront.

The year 2020 started with planning which Adelaide Fringe and Festival events to attend. From mid February to mid March pretty much every weekend I attended some event or another, ending with Womadelaide. There were more and more whispers of this COVID thing and Italy was already in lockdown. I think we knew it was starting to get serious so I made the most of that weekend.

I had the last weekend in March planned to go away with on an annual trip with a bunch of girlfriends and after Womad people started pulling out. COVID restrictions started being put into place and we pulled the pin on the camping trip. The camp ground was shut from that weekend anyway so that was that and into lockdown we went.

I started working from home at the end of March and I was dreading it. While I love time by myself, I thought working from home would be too isolating. It wasn’t. The internet connection held up and we continued our daily ‘standup’ at home via Teams. We even held Friday afternoon drinks via Teams so had more of this social interaction with the team during lockdown than we did on a Friday afternoon in the office. After all we were all at home anyway, so didn’t need to leave the office to pick up kids, get ready to go out etc. When it came time to go back to the office it was with reluctance that we did. My new job lets me work 3 days at home and 2 in the office at the moment. I’m not sure how long that might last but my work doesn’t need me to be around people in the office anyway. I also employed a cleaner recently. It’s a huge load off knowing that I don’t have to clean so much in my spare time. I still do an inbetween clean and vacuum (dog doesn’t ever stop shedding) but knowing that my weekends are for what I want to do, not what I feel I have to do is a big load off my mind.

Another bonus with working at home means I get drop-ins from the dog and the son. Son started uni in 2020 and he’d embraced all the things that uni offers socially. He’d joined a couple of clubs, he went to the orientation week party, he won a gym membership on campus and all of this in the first 2-3 weeks of the uni year before all that got shutdown also. So we were both home together respectively studying and working. Luckily his online gaming career helped him quickly adapt to online study. He also started a new job in February, mainly working nights – midnight to 6am – so while he sorted out his sleep patterns some of my working days were very quiet. But on the occasions when he would pop into my office we’d have some great chats. I’ve loved seeing him finish high school and adapt to a new job and university. He did pretty well at uni in semester 1 despite what the pandemic threw at him. In semester 2 a friend of his was murdered and I immediately saw the drop off in his uni work while he dealt with going to his first funeral, and dealt with his grief. Despite this, he buckled down in the last couple of weeks of semester 2 and managed to pass his subjects.

At the beginning of lockdown in March, I made a list in my diary of the things I would do during lockdown. Huh! None of those cupboards got cleaned out. It was all I could do to work and keep the house running with cleaning and grocery shopping. I didn’t have any inclination to do much else apart from take up knitting again. Since March I’ve knitted 2 jumpers, a cardigan, 2 shawls, a short sleeved top I unravelled and am using that wool to knit another top, and a beanie. Upon reflection I think all this knitting provided a level of comfort and an excuse to binge-watch tv shows. For the most part I can knit and watch tv. If the pattern is a bit tricky the tv is paused or turned off while I sort things out and then back it goes. I’ve even bought some wool to try and knit socks. I now have what knitters call a wool stash. It’s not much but it will keep me going for at least a few months yet. I’m hoping I like the sock knitting/wearing as that’s something that takes up less room and something that’s worn often. Otherwise I’ll have to start knitting little things for other people/charities as there’s only so many jumpers I need to knit for myself.

During our first lockdown we were still allowed to leave the house to shop and exercise, so a way of catching up with friends was to meet them for a hike. We’re lucky in Adelaide that there’s some great places to hike. I’m going to have to make a conscious effort to organise more of these during the cooler weather as it’s something I really enjoy. For a while it was my ‘social’ fix and I much preferred it over the video catchups. I haven’t found my groove with those.

At the beginning of 2020 I auditioned for a women’s choir and got in. I’ve never auditioned for anything so it was a big step outside my comfort zone, and surprisingly I wasn’t nervous at all. Unfortunately we only had 2-3 practises before we had to shutdown. We didn’t convene online to practise but I always sing around the house anyway. My dog is a very appreciative audience.

The camping trip that was supposed to happen in late March, happened in mid-October instead. As mid-October is also my birthday, I took a week off to celebrate that and go away camping for 3 nights. We camped at a friend’s property near Delamere and it was just lovely. Going away with this bunch of girlfriends is always a priority for me and I leave these weekends feeling refreshed and refuelled. This one was no different.

I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but if it’s anything like 2020 there will be time to stop and appreciate the small things. I’m trying to focus on the silver linings and not the negative things.

All Will Be Well.

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Teens (my teen) and the internet

May 12, 2018 by Jen

There’s no escaping it, my lad (nearly 17) loves gaming. Therefore he wants to, and usually does, spend a lot of time at his computer online gaming. I don’t like it because I think he should be doing other things as well – ie away from the screen and the internet.

Our modem allows me to set times on and off for particular devices and I have set it up for his computer as this is what he spends the bulk of his screen time on. This was after negotiating with him about these times. If we argue about anything it’s the times I’ve allocated to when it goes off particularly around the times on the weekend although he’s hardly mentioned it recently.

This negotiation included him taking some more responsibility for things around the house. He already has jobs to do and now that he wants to stay up later he has to cook once a week. This was implemented at the beginning of this year. Plus it’s a good life skill to have. I’ll always remember the time I travelled with a mid 20s male friend and when I broached taking it in turns to cook in the evenings he said he’d never cooked before. The first meal of overcooked rice and baked beans was nearly edible and it could only go up from there.

At the moment I usually tell him when and what he’s going to cook. It’s not been easy to get this process happening. Even though he agrees with it in principle, the reality is often a bit different. I’ve told him that if he doesn’t cook once a week then I’m revising his technology cut-off time. He’ll still push for me to help him and by helping he means being his kitchen hand. I try to remain as hands off as possible because otherwise he’ll never learn. For the most part what he cooks is pretty edible although the recent chorizo cassoulet was a bit dry and I realised he’d left out the stock. He also doesn’t like that part of cooking means cleaning up but as I’ve reasoned with him is that I’m happy for him to clean up every time I cook and I’ll do the same for him. He decided to clean up after himself and cleans up reasonably well after he cooks.

Recently he refused to go his school’s sports day because none of his mates were going. I can’t physically make a 6’5” young man do anything so all I had were other consequences and those included turning off the wifi for his computer and leaving him a long list of jobs to do for the day. Fortunately this was followed up an after-school detention as well. However I refused to sign a note excusing him for the day for him to get out of this after school detention.

But being the resourceful young man he is he found a way of assigning his computer a different MAC address so he could connect to our wifi. When I realised what he was doing I found that you can download software to spoof your computer’s MAC address for this type of thing. The modem thinks it’s a different device to what I’ve turned off so he can then connect.

Unless I turn off the wifi for all devices I don’t have a technological leg to stand on. So it was back to negotiation. And this is the key. MAC spoofing must have its drawbacks so the negotiation went better than I expected.

MAC spoofing is no longer being used – although sometimes threats are made to turn it back on.

In regards to the amount of time he spends gaming? Maybe it’s not too bad after all. At least he’s showing that he can commit to something. He is ranked in the top 7% of the game he plays.

Penelope Trunk has given me some hope about my son’s gaming habit.

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Tag. You’re it!

December 21, 2017 by Jen

There’s been a thing happen across Facebook recently where you shoot a black and white photo with no people in it and post it to your feed with no explanation. You do this daily for 7 days and tag a different friend each day to follow suit.

By the time it eventually made its way to me I was starting to get sick of it, probably because I’m not a fan of these tag and you’re it Facebook posts. And the ones that start with a passive aggressive stance along the lines of ‘I bet I know which of you will repost this,’ or something similar really get up my nose.

But this one involved photography and I’ve done photo a day challenges before and enjoyed them.

I didn’t quite follow the rules of the black and white photo thing, mainly because it was doing the rounds of my friends and it has to end somewhere.

I did, however, post every day for 7 days. Here they are. The 7 black and white photos with no people. Tag, you’re it!

Light on light.Hear me roar. Day 2 black and white, no peeps.Black and white day 3.Black and white. Day 4.Black and white, day 5.Black and white, day 6.Black and white, day 7. Over and out from me. I want some colour back in my life.

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Must be doing something right

September 8, 2017 by Jen

Sun through the clouds the other day.

Sometimes you wonder how you’re going as a parent. After all there aren’t annual performance reviews to keep you on track ( I actually think performance reviews necessarily do this). But parenting is hard as any parent will attest if they’re not completely deluded.

My biggest fear has always been making a big mess of it and having him spend his adult life in therapy trying to get back on track.

There’s the little day-to-day annoyances with parenting a teen and you wonder how they will ever cope as an adult. I got a phone call the other afternoon after he got home from school. I was having a quick meeting with a colleague while I apologised and took the call, and my son asked me what he was going to eat as there was no cereal left. Of course there was no other food in the house that he could eat! Well none that was convenient as taking a box of weetbix, a bowl and the milk to his bedroom so he could eat a few bowls worth while doing homework gaming on his computer.

I told him to eat porridge and then had to remind him where the oats were and how to cook it.

Or there was the day I got home from work and he’d tidied his room because he’d found a couple of mice in the rubbish bin having a fine old time eating crumbs from the empty food packets. Luckily our dog is a good mouser so they were taken care of and then removed from the house. It’s not the ideal way to get him to tidy his room!

Yesterday’s after school phone call was a bit different. He was walking home from the bus and saw an elderly woman struggling to get her rubbish bins back to her yard. He said he ummed and aaahed about whether to offer help, but he did offer his help. It was gratefully received and he said it made him feel really good.

I must admit hearing this story made me feel really good as well. And these moments are what get you through the other more annoying moments and let you know that maybe he won’t be in continuous therapy as an adult.

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What’s going on?

September 2, 2017 by Jen

I’ve been writing here since April 2004 and if there’s anyone still left here you’ve probably noticed I don’t really add that much here any more.

What started out mostly as a parenting blog moved away from that once my son started getting older. He’s now 16 and – believe me – it’s not like there’s still not plenty of material to draw from as a parent but I don’t feel it’s my story to tell any more. Although I’d really like to lay it all bare here when it comes to parenting a teen I’m not going to. Although I was interviewed about being a sole parent of a teen by Nicole at Planning with Kids late last year and I do share some snippets there.

Said teen now has his learner’s permit and I’m doing a minor freak out about being on the road with him as a driver but even more so that he will be on the road by himself at some stage and that’s scary. Scary because of things that can happen but scary because in under 2 years he’ll be a legal adult!

So, I haven’t been writing here that much but felt I was lacking a creative aspect to my life. I’d been sitting on an idea for a while about a creative project and after a bit of a push by someone I’ve finally started it.

At the very least it will give me skills that I can bring to my paid employment and I’m interested to see where it can take me outside of that.

It’s not a money making venture at the moment, and it may never be.

The idea came about is because of my love for finding bargains in op-shops. I started op-shopping in the late 1980s and have been collecting clothing since then – when you could be a 1970s item of clothing for a couple of dollars or less. An example. I bought a purple knee-length leather coat from a school fete for $2.50. You’d be lucky to get something like it now for under $50. I’ve still got, and wear, the leather coat.

Now it’s 30 years later (bloody hell), buying vintage is expensive so I don’t really buy those items any more. I tend to stick to everyday clothing and much of my work wardrobe is second hand. I think some items in op-shops are over-priced. When you see a really gaudy 80s frock that you would only ever wear as a dress up on sale for $30 you’ve got to wonder. I remember picking up a safari suit for $4 with an ex-boyfriend some years ago. Now you hardly ever see them second hand and if you do they’re upwards of $40.

Anyway, the new website is thriftyclifty.com. Please head over and have a visit, and if you like op-shops and live in Adelaide, check out my map of op shops in Adelaide.

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Fragrance – soy candles

March 19, 2017 by Jen

Sydney Fragrance soy candle

I have a confession to make, I probably spend too much money on making the house smell nice, whether it’s fragrant candles or incense. There’s something about the smell they provide that transports me away from the house momentarily or something. I don’t know exactly what it is but it’s something I do for me.

I’ve bought the candles in the small and large glass jars, and I’ve bought the little soy melt cakes you put in a holder use the little tea light candles to melt them. And I burn them pretty regularly

Unfortunately some soy candles don’t live up to their hype. That is their fragrance is either pretty much non-existent or it goes to the other extreme and is too sweet and overpowering. So it can turn into an expensive exercise but as it’s one of the luxuries I allow myself in addition to my op-shop habit, I persist.

I was recently approached by Sydney Fragrance and given one of their candles to try – Heartland (inspired by Outback Australia, with finger lime, flannel flower and eucalyptus).

After having burned it for a few hours over 3 nights or so it passes my test of just enough smell where you want to breath more in and it just smells good.

Even the next morning and the evening after when I’ve come home from work I can still smell it a bit.

So, it passes my test of smelling pretty damn good and having that bit of extra staying power.

Would I buy from them? Yes, I would.

The large candle I received as shown above is $39 and burns for around 80 hours.

Sydney Fragrance – shop online or check out their stockists.

Note: Sydney Fragrance gifted me the candle pictured above.

 

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This can be what it’s like living with a teen

March 3, 2017 by Jen

You’re at work and you get a phone call at about the time he gets home from school. That’s good. You like to know that he’s home safely. He’s quite excited and breathlessly tells me that when he got home he didn’t have his keys and he couldn’t find the spare keys, ‘because you keep moving them’. Side note, when you’ve got a teen it’s ALWAYS your fault. Never mind that I moved the keys once – which I told him about – and I moved them back to their original spot – which I also told him about, and showed him as well. And never mind that he’d used these keys a couple of weeks ago and promised me he’d put them back after he used them.

He climbed over the gate. I’m not sure why as we have 2 side gates that can be opened fairly easily.

He found a window around the back that wasn’t locked and managed to crawl through it and get inside. He was glad that on this particularly hot day he didn’t have to catch the bus to my work to get my keys.

Now, this window that was left open? We’d opened it 2 months ago when I had a party so an extension cord could fit through it to power some lights I set up out the back. I’d been asking him for the 2 months to make sure he’d locked it properly. But lucky he hadn’t hey?

When I got home from work, we looked in the spare key vicinity to try and find them. They definitely weren’t there.

He decided to look in his room because they might be there. Note to self. Steal keys occasionally and make him look for them in his room so it gets tidied! I can live with clothes on the floor until he can’t find something. I don’t like empty or nearly empty food packets, or dirty plates and glasses because I want to keep the mice and cockroaches away.

I had a look in the key bowl by the front door. Lo and behold there they were. However, he still couldn’t find his own keys.

But his keys turned up in his pencil case as he discovered the next day at school.

All’s well that ends well. All house keys are accounted for. The teen’s room is relatively tidy. All windows are locked and secured.

Until the next time.

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