Archives for February 2012

Sometimes being a grown-up sucks

February 23, 2012 by Jen

My life seems to be all about making decisions at the moment – and some large decisions too. Sometimes it sucks being a grown-up.

Decisions about my relationships (ie how do I decide whether I should take him back or not?) and other decisions about my future that involve lots of money. That’s scary stuff. Sometimes thinking these through makes me lose sleep at night and that really annoys me. I wish I could just dream and then make the right decision but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

In addition, I got a letter from my council last week proposing to buy nearly 26 square metres of my land so it can widen a laneway that goes around half of my property. I don’t have that much land and this would be a fair chunk of it which includes two fairly well-established trees and a garden shed. Part of me thinks the money would be good and the rest of me wants to tell them to get stuffed. They also want half of my driveway. It’s obvious from google earth that it’s a driveway and I don’t know what the thought process was in including that in the land they want. It would make getting in and out of my driveway very difficult. So this is another thing I have to think about – an unwelcome thing.

Then there’s the small day-to-day decisions that are part of every day life. These smaller decisions will hopefully make my daily life run smoother and now that school is back things have certainly become more hectic. On Wednesdays JJ has piano practise, cricket practise, a small window of time to eat dinner, and then cub scouts. I feel dizzy just thinking about it. At least all his activities aside from sport on Saturday mornings are all over and done with in one day.

Along with these things are the forms that come with it giving the powers that be details about himself and myself, over and over again. Twice already I’ve had to apologise to the scout leader for a late form and beg to see if JJ can go on a particular excursion because I didn’t get it together earlier. I think I’m getting a system in place for all of this.

So, inbetween decisions, I try to not think about having to make them and just enjoy, and enjoy the perks that being a grown-up does have.

Pictures speak a thousand words

February 22, 2012 by Jen

This is a few of the photos I’ve taken during the last week. Does each have a story to tell? Yes, in it’s own little way – in its day-to-day life sort of way. Pictures speak a thousand words, and this is Wordless Wednesday.

The gardener

February 16, 2012 by Jen

You think you’re broken up then you find out that he would really like to get back together.

Obviously there’s so much more to it than I’m going to share here – you know how it is – but I’m working through all of the things that a request like that comes with.

On another completely unrelated note my son begged me to buy this plant when we were shopping recently. It was only $2.50 and it’s a pretty plant – how could I say no? I haven’t watered it once since we got home and it’s still alive. My son, the wannabe gardener. I’m all for it.

A dog’s purpose

February 15, 2012 by Jen

This was sent to me via email so I’m guessing it’s done a lot of email rounds but it’s too good not to share here too.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!!!

I’m participating in Wordless Wednesday today. I know this is SO not wordless, but it’s so worth it!

What’s love got to do with it?

February 14, 2012 by Jen

I was trying to explain to my son this morning about what Valentine’s Day is. I said something along the lines of it started with a Saint called Valentine somehow and it’s developed into a day of marketing hype where people feel obliged to spend money on flowers, chocolates and cards for their loved ones. I gave my son a kiss and a hug for Valentine’s Day.

The reason he asked was because a friend’s husband rang me to ask me to get his wife (my friend) a bunch of flowers as he’s working away and won’t see her today. He wants JJ to give them to her. I bought them last night and we’ll give them to her this evening when we see her.

I’ve never really been too fussed about Valentine’s Day. I’d rather someone declare their love for me when they feel it, not just feel obliged to on a specific day. One year, when I had a boyfriend at the time, I received a card in the mail. I asked my boyfriend if he’d sent it to me but he said he hadn’t. That evening when he came over to my house he had a bottle of champagne and some flowers to give to me. I don’t think he would have if I hadn’t received a card from someone else. And to this day I don’t know who sent that card and I’ve always wondered.

I saw my most recent ex at a party just over a week ago. Since then he’s been in contact via email sending me messages and now he wants to talk. Except for the ‘Is it too late to talk?’ message I haven’t responded to any of the others. How would I respond to something saying that he thinks he lost the plot? Do I care? It’s been three months and there’s been nothing and now this?

I ummed and aahhed over whether to talk to him or not. During the three months since our breakup I’ve made a really good effort to learn from our relationship and move on from it. He’s calling me tonight. I’ve had some time to prepare what I want to say but I’m really interested in what he wants to say. If he wants to get back together, why? What’s changed?

I want someone who’s not scared to say that he loves and adores me. I want someone who doesn’t get going when the going gets tough. I want someone who encourages and supports me in my life endeavours. I want someone who has life experience and has grown from that life experience, not held onto it and become bitter about it. I want someone who accepts that my son comes as part of the package and that he has his quirks but that I’m doing my best as a single mum to raise him into a happy human being. I’m not looking for a father for him, by the way, just someone to support me as much as they can emotionally when I need it. And, I want someone that still wants to hold my hand even after we’ve been together for years.

Where are those extra hours? I’d like to find them.

February 5, 2012 by Jen

This was left on my pillow last Monday morning and I saw it just before I had to leave for work.

I don’t that we were even fighting or anything that morning or that he needed to suck up to me. He just did it out of the goodness of his heart. Bless him.

I try and remember these times after I’ve screeched at him while he’s outside practically hanging off the clothesline looking like it will break.

It’s been a mega-busy week with things on every night except for Friday.

I’m rearranging our front bedroom. It’s a spare room and it’s been a bit of a junk room, a bedroom for my nephew when he lived here for a couple of years. Since he left it’s been a separate living area mainly for JJ and his mates when they come over but it wasn’t laid out very well.

I got rid of some old furniture that I’d been given over the years and bought a new sofa bed/lounge and an IKEA tv cabinet/bookshelf. I found out too late that it had to be attached to the wall which added another level of complication I didn’t want. It’s okay now thanks to a good mate. I found the instructions to be really awful though. I think IKEA instructions should be more like LEGO instructions. Give me some more numbers IKEA and some order to things. As it was I had to open box 3 to get the first two pieces I needed to assemble. I did it though. And now I just have to tidy up all the things that are on the floor.

The coming weeks don’t promise to be any quieter thanks to a hip-replacement operation (not mine), a girls weekend away, and the fringe/festival coming up. I think by the time winter gets here I will be glad to hibernate. Although the weather today is kinda wintery.