What’s love got to do with it?

I was trying to explain to my son this morning about what Valentine’s Day is. I said something along the lines of it started with a Saint called Valentine somehow and it’s developed into a day of marketing hype where people feel obliged to spend money on flowers, chocolates and cards for their loved ones. I gave my son a kiss and a hug for Valentine’s Day.

The reason he asked was because a friend’s husband rang me to ask me to get his wife (my friend) a bunch of flowers as he’s working away and won’t see her today. He wants JJ to give them to her. I bought them last night and we’ll give them to her this evening when we see her.

I’ve never really been too fussed about Valentine’s Day. I’d rather someone declare their love for me when they feel it, not just feel obliged to on a specific day. One year, when I had a boyfriend at the time, I received a card in the mail. I asked my boyfriend if he’d sent it to me but he said he hadn’t. That evening when he came over to my house he had a bottle of champagne and some flowers to give to me. I don’t think he would have if I hadn’t received a card from someone else. And to this day I don’t know who sent that card and I’ve always wondered.

I saw my most recent ex at a party just over a week ago. Since then he’s been in contact via email sending me messages and now he wants to talk. Except for the ‘Is it too late to talk?’ message I haven’t responded to any of the others. How would I respond to something saying that he thinks he lost the plot? Do I care? It’s been three months and there’s been nothing and now this?

I ummed and aahhed over whether to talk to him or not. During the three months since our breakup I’ve made a really good effort to learn from our relationship and move on from it. He’s calling me tonight. I’ve had some time to prepare what I want to say but I’m really interested in what he wants to say. If he wants to get back together, why? What’s changed?

I want someone who’s not scared to say that he loves and adores me. I want someone who doesn’t get going when the going gets tough. I want someone who encourages and supports me in my life endeavours. I want someone who has life experience and has grown from that life experience, not held onto it and become bitter about it. I want someone who accepts that my son comes as part of the package and that he has his quirks but that I’m doing my best as a single mum to raise him into a happy human being. I’m not looking for a father for him, by the way, just someone to support me as much as they can emotionally when I need it. And, I want someone that still wants to hold my hand even after we’ve been together for years.