A few days ago I was out of sorts. I hate feeling in a funk like that because it’s hard to just snap out of it really quickly which I’d like to do. Instead it usually takes me a day or two to get over those feelings and this time was no different.
I can see how easy it would be to wallow in the feelings of self doubt, pity and all the rest of it and I can’t pinpoint exactly what helps me get out of a funk. Here’s some ideas though:
Time is definitely a factor. If I’m having a bad day then usually the whole day will stay that way and I just have to hope that the next day will be a lot better.
Talking to friends. It’s isolating staying at home by yourself. I know this full well from being a single mum with a young baby. Nearly ten years ago I didn’t have the online network that I have now with blogging, Twitter and Facebook. I only had the phone and if I didn’t speak to an adult on the phone at least once a day I think I would have gone mad. Now that I have the social networking available to me it helps the feelings of isolation but I still need to talk to people.
Getting out and doing something. I’ve got a dog so I need to walk her while she’s still up for it. She’s around 14 years old so I’m dreading the day when she just doesn’t want to go for a walk. I also try to make lunch or coffee dates (although not too many because of the financial situation). But I don’t always have to leave the house because just even keeping busy around the house helps keep my mind off things. I got out the furniture polish to do some polishing yesterday, something I rarely do. I usually just get a dust cloth for the dusting. And I’ve been watching The Love Boat – some good escapism.
Thinking positively. I think this is the hardest to do but probably one of the best things and let me tell you why. I have to constantly remind myself that I am a useful member of society and have something great to offer the paid workforce, whether it’s in a freelance capacity or otherwise. I’ve got some excellent skills and people who’ve seen my Resume recently have commented on how impressive my skillset is. I had a Facebook message yesterday from a friend who works in wine marketing asking for my help with their Facebook page. I haven’t definitely heard yet whether they will get me to help (but I’m hopeful) and it won’t be a stack of work, but it’s something to start with and I don’t think this opportunity would have presented itself when I was feeling really down the other day.
Now, I do need help with procrastination. I’ve bought myself and started setting up my own website to further my professional branding but have been sitting on it without really adding any content. I find mrketing myself quite hard to do but I’m going to have to swallow my pride to some extent and just do it.
Jen, I hung on to your “out of sorts” post in the hope that I could find a positive response but you’ve beaten me to it by recognising that it’s the situation you’re in that is driving you rather than you controlling it. Procrastination is a problem – it seems to be more of a female trait (wild generalisation) – we can always find something “more important” to do than the thing we don’t want to. I’ll even go and do the ironing rather than make marketing phone calls!
If I could sit down with you and ask things like: “and how does THAT make you feel” I might be able to suggest. As it is I’d say make a list of tasks, big ones, little ones, unimportant ones – brainstorm to yourself. Then allocate to one of four categories – is it nice or nasty? and in each of these is it important/necessary to YOU or in the overall scheme of things is it a “nice to have”? Butterflies or frogs, attractive or loathsome? Procrastination will lead to dealing with the attractive and easy so plan to “eat one frog before breakfast”.
Find a mentor if you can who will a) not charge anything and b) monitor your list without judgement (you KNOW what you haven’t done).
As to marketing yourself it is the only way and it’s hard. If 17 years of advising in a JobCentre here in the UK taught me anything it was that I had to make people understand that they were not unemployed – simply not in PAID employment. Your job is finding a job.
I presume that there are career advisers in Adelaide, are these paid for by the state? if not there are some online services that might help to focus your thoughts.
Sorry for the long post but … chin up!
Hey there Jen – sorry that you are still splashing around against your will out there – I am splashing in (not enough) paid employment and procrastination can still get me kyboshed!
Have you tried any virtual networking? I worked as a Virtual Assistant for a while from home (I am the worst boss I have ever worked for) and can give you a couple of connections if you want.
This is a really good post Jen. I hate getting into a funk….but I definitely do have them from time to time…and I think they are brought on by various things that might be going on in my life. I especially hate when they last more than a day. I find going out and just focusing on something else helps a lot. Your right…talking to friends…or even my kids often gets me in a better frame of mind too. For me…wherever I can find some humor always helps. And I would agree with you…that thinking positively is one of the hardest things to do when you are really feeling down. But…it’s so good to remind yourself of how fortunate and blessed you really are…puts things in perspective.
I’m sure your little funks are due to your work situation…it’s so normal and I know so many people who have felt the same way because of their job situation sweetie.
You are terrific…and have a great head on your shoulders; and you are a very balanced and grounded person. You’ll get through this frustrating time Jen…with flying colors. Lots of love to you and JJ… ~Joy