This photo was taken just over three years ago, making him four years old. It was a lot easier then in a lot of ways. He hadn’t started school!
What is it about school that’s so problematic for him, and consequently for me? What is it about schools that see suspension as the only answer to behavioural problems?
I have so many questions and unfortunately there’s no easy answer. We need time. I need to become more in the school’s face to try and get them to help my boy, not just punish him when things go bad.
I want to work with the school but perhaps it’s better for him to make a fresh start elsewhere? I don’t bloody know!
Sorry he (and therefore you) are having a hard time. I wrote about discipline recently and how at its core it is about teaching children considerate behaviour, not punishment for when they get things wrong. It is difficult to change schools, but maybe you need a school that has a different approach to discipline? I hope it gets better for you.
Education about behaviour is the key I think. I’m reluctant to change schools and it will be a last resort. I want to work with his current school to sort things out. We’ll see ey?
There’s a fantastic documentary on raising boys – and how some of them react when schools try to inhibit their natural behaviors.
It’s called “Raising Cain” I believe there a book as well.
I hope that helps. And he is SO gorgeous.
Thanks Ms Single Mama. I shall look out for that one. Yes, he is gorgeous. Thank you.
I wish I could suggest some sort of solution for you. I think it’s so hard for a single parent to bring up a child of the opposite gender (it’s usually mothers bringing up boys) because we have no experience of what it’s like to be a boy. He looks like a real angel and I know that looks often belie the reality — just one of those cheeky smiles and he can get away with almost anything until he runs up against the hard place in school.
I agree that changing school is probably not the answer. It’s JJ’s behaviour that is the problem and although it may be his way of reacting against the particular school there’s no saying that he wouldn’t do it again.
Is there a close male relative or friend who could take some of the heat out of it for you by having a word or two?
Hazel, I’m taking steps to modify his behaviour both at school and at home. I’m feeling a lot better about the school now as they seem motivated to help. I met with the deputy principal recently and we’ve identified some things that they can do at the school to help him learn self-confidence and social skills. I’m also taking him to a psychologist who’s been really good. I’m feeling a heck of a lot more positive than I did when I wrote this post.