The last two mornings have been hell in getting out of the door for work/school. It’s ended up with us both yelling at each other and achieving absolutely nothing. I was still taking deep breaths, because I was so frustrated, when I arrived at work yesterday.
Yesterday I dreaded how JJ would fare at school, wondering if the shenanigans at home might manifest into naughty behaviour at school. I had a missed call from the school but luckily it was about something else.
When I picked him up from after school care, one of the teachers pulled me aside and said that at snack time JJ had stood up on a chair and dropped his pants. I stood there shaking my head and saying that he knows this is inappropriate behaviour. When we talked about it afterwards he said he knew it was wrong and that I should take one of his ticks off his reward chart which I did.
This morning we were late for school because he wouldn’t hurry up and get ready. When we got there I made him apologise to the teacher.
I used to have his jobs written down for the morning and I’m going to need to do it again so he’s got a very clear idea of what needs to be done.
I’m at home at the moment and was just cleaning up some of his junk. I found a piece of paper he’s been writing on for the last few days and it brought a tear to my eyes. It’s a bit hard to read because he spells a lot of things how he hears them, but here’s the gist:
‘I love you but sometimes you are a bit bossy. Sorry for the many things I have done to you mum. I know that you are looking forward to mother’s day. ???? Are you sad that my dad ???.
Love JJ’
I wish I could read the bit he’s written about his dad. Underneath the writing he’s drawn a picture of himself, myself and Monty, and our fish (this is our family that he talked about at school earlier in the week).
The poor love obviously takes a lot of things to heart. I’m going to buy him a special book that he can write this stuff down in. Perhaps he’s like me and writing down feelings is helpful in moving past them.
Maybe writing things down will give him an outlet. A place he can put his thoughts down, and make sense of them.
His note was absolutely beautiful – so heartfelt.
Yes, his note was very heartfelt even though it wasn’t that complimentary about me. I’ve bought him a sketchpad and some pencil type crayons to go with it so hopefully he can pour out his thoughts in it. It’ll be something I can keep to look at in years to come.
I actually think it is wonderful he is trying to capture his feelings in words – and I so know about the trouble following trouble in the morning.
I sometimes let the lists go by – but man, they are EFFECTIVE tools when we use them.
How mature is your little man to write his feelings down?
You have taught him well about emotions and he is able to deal with them in such a way. I take my hat off to you (if only more men were in touch with their insides, like your son is).
Jeanie, having tasks written down seem to work. I can’t believe I’d let that one go. PS: He didn’t have a very good day at school.
Thanks Tiff. I’ve since been told off for reading that because it was supposed to be for mother’s day. Ooops! He is definitely in touch with his feelings – too much so sometimes.
Oh Jen I definitely think you should buy him a journal. JJ is obviously like you….he needs to express himself that way. Writing is a major outlet for him. Lots of mums have similar problems getting their kids out the door in the mornings for one reason or another….my daughter says the same thing about Bella.
Joy, I did buy him a special book, one that he can write and draw in. I bought some crayon pencils to go with it. He’s already drawn some great pictures. We’ll see if the words come.
wriitng down emotions and drawing is greta for emotional health and wellbeing – just look at all us bloggers. It is greta perosnal therpay.
What precious words …all kids think we are bossy.
on my spelling -sorry I hit enter before I finished – it is whine o clock here !
I like your ‘whine o’clock’. What a great excuse. The book is going great guns. I think I have a writer on my hands. Takes after his mum!
Gudday Jen… I’ve decided that you should be awarded a “Goodonya Mum” Medal!!! In fact, I’d even present it myself, complete with ceremony if I could – you deserve it – as do so many of you Mum’s who seem to be doing a two-person job! Let’s face it – most Mum’s ARE doing a two person job anyways… some simply because they’re the one at home most of the time whilst Dad’s at work, and other’s because ‘Dad’s’ not around anymore – for a whole swag of reasons (and I’m not judging anyone here)!
Facing a young bloke in his growing up ‘alone’ isn’t an easy task… and you’re alot braver then most people Jen because you want to deal with it, look into what’s going on and be a part of the solution. I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve worked with, who simply refused to see what’s going on for their young person, and want to have someone ELSE deal with it.
In a lot of cases I was that someone else – and I did this mostly as a youth worker in schools, due to how behaviour simply manifests itself in a school – especially during these younger years (kindy through to Grade 5). Please try not to be so hard on yourself (as a Mum) mate, when these times come around – this type of behaviour isn’t as unusual (nor as dreadfully bad) as you might be compelled to think.
You keep doing what your doing – It’d what I’ve often set in place for young people – and above all things – remain flexible AT ALL TIMES lol ;-). Taking time out for you (as you’ve most recently posted) is so very important, and helps maintain some of that balance we need mate – but I think you already know that, so I’ll stop teaching the sucking of eggs eh?! lol I agree with the comments above… your little man seems a switched on little cookie from what you’ve described here – so he must have go that from someone. I come across so many Mum’s that forget the simple fact that most times – this is simple – it’s you!
And I reckon that’s pretty bloody cool! Cheers!!!
Belongum, Thanks for your comment. I do need reminding every now and again not to be too hard on myself. And thanks for the award. Gratefully received.