I can say without a doubt I’ve had a pretty shitful year so far. It started in mid January with my cousin dying in a car accident. Six weeks after that my dad had a stroke. During this time I’ve been going to a psychologist for JJ to work out strategies for his behaviour. It’s all been quite stressful and when I filled out my last sick leave form I looked back through them and realised I’d had three sickies in one month.
It doesn’t help that I was verbally attacked by a relative recently because I said no to a request for something. Grrrrrr! This was after I was ignored for nearly three weeks and after I instigated communication to talk about the lack thereof.
To top all this off I’m undecided what I want to do in my career. All I have is questions at the moment and every time I think of something I shoot it down. The job I have at the moment is pretty good in a lot of ways – hours, conditions, pay but it is somehow unsatisfying. I get frustrated at having to deal with the politics and the red tape and there’s nothing in my power to change that so I have to wear it or get out.
All this can get a person down and it bloody well has. I’m feeling sorry for me right now and feel a bit powerless to do anything about it.
If it wasn’t for my friends, some family members and my son I would be at the bottom of the abyss right now instead of teetering at the edge.
Do not despair, I’m sure I will get out of this funk.