I can say without a doubt I’ve had a pretty shitful year so far. It started in mid January with my cousin dying in a car accident. Six weeks after that my dad had a stroke. During this time I’ve been going to a psychologist for JJ to work out strategies for his behaviour. It’s all been quite stressful and when I filled out my last sick leave form I looked back through them and realised I’d had three sickies in one month.
It doesn’t help that I was verbally attacked by a relative recently because I said no to a request for something. Grrrrrr! This was after I was ignored for nearly three weeks and after I instigated communication to talk about the lack thereof.
To top all this off I’m undecided what I want to do in my career. All I have is questions at the moment and every time I think of something I shoot it down. The job I have at the moment is pretty good in a lot of ways – hours, conditions, pay but it is somehow unsatisfying. I get frustrated at having to deal with the politics and the red tape and there’s nothing in my power to change that so I have to wear it or get out.
All this can get a person down and it bloody well has. I’m feeling sorry for me right now and feel a bit powerless to do anything about it.
If it wasn’t for my friends, some family members and my son I would be at the bottom of the abyss right now instead of teetering at the edge.
Do not despair, I’m sure I will get out of this funk.
You’re right Jen…this too shall pass. The frustration with your job is a tough one. I must know a couple dozen people who are feeling just like you. The job just isn’t doing it for them, but they haven’t made a move to change it….or aren’t in a position to change it. It’s everywhere Jen. Think of it this way…you are very lucky…these days…to have a job. It might not be perfect; but until there is a time, place, and situation that opens up for you to make a move…you’ll probably wait it out. I can’t think of very many people who absolutely LOVE their jobs….can you?
Look on the bright side? NO – when you’re feeling like this there ISN’T a bright side. Teetering on the edge of the abyss you may be but whilst you can still share with friends – and strangers – then you SHOULD be able to draw back. The best trick, and it is a trick, that I found was to learn to live one minute at a time. Not much can go wrong in one minute – and then you have to live the next minute and cope with that.
On a slightly more practical level, as an employment adviser for a number of years, I would say that trying to change jobs or to alter your career path whilst you’re feeling down is the worst thing you could do. It may be that it is the job that’s causing the feeling but it may not be. You know yourself best and I can’t really help from the other side of the world but it would seem from what you’ve said that keeping your head down at work and trying to sort some of the other difficulties in your life would be a good option.
PS Is that a dog flap that Monty’s peering through?