Thank goodness for being able to ‘sleep on it’. What fabulous perspective a night can bring.
Yesterday I was the devil mother. Everything my son did was wrong and whenever he did anything wrong in my eyes I told him off. Therefore yesterday I constantly told him off and I even raised my voice more than once.
Yesterday evening saw me wound up so tight that I paced up and down the path near the side of my house because I couldn’t leave him alone in the house while I went for a walk.
My behaviour as a parent was woeful and I know it.
Fortunately not long after I finished pacing outside the house, I dropped him off at the babysitters and went to a party. If not, it would have been an early night for him. I had a fabulous time at the party catching up with some friends I don’t see that often, drinking slightly too much and dancing just the right amount. As I said to JJ today I even told some friends I know I behaved abominably as a parent. He was surprised that I told them it was me who misbehaved and not him. Don’t worry, he was no angel yesterday but it’s no excuse.
Even though I didn’t get that much sleep last night today is a new day and it’s a lot better as I knew it would be. It seems that nearly every time I take my eye off the ball as a parent, I drop it. My eye’s back on the ball and I’ve remembered some of the things the psychologist said when we were seeing her last year.
I’ve come to the conclusion that kids are smarter than us poor, unsuspecting adults, and if we let them they’ll run rings around us and sometimes do.
What do you do when your kid/s is driving you round the bend and you can’t leave them to get a bit of perspective? Do you turn into the mother from hell, or do you have a foolproof, failsafe method of not letting that happen? Just so you know, I don’t always turn into the mother from hell. I usually handle it. What I’ve described above is reasonably rare.
Yikes. Sounds like a tough day. All moms have days like that, though. We survived our parents, our kids will survive us, right? Hopefully today is much better, for both of you.
I definitely have days like this. And as my toddler has a tendency to do the same stupid stuff (climb onto the wobbly computer desk? Dig in the garbage? Throw a fit when I try to work?) they aren’t as rare as I’d like. I’ve found that what works best is for us to do something fun together. I chase her around and tickle her, or we’ll play a game, sing and dance, or something else that she really enjoys. If it’s a really bad day, we’ll both take a nap. Or at least, try to.
Everyone tries to be the best mom that they can possibly be. Sometimes, that involves being human, making a mistake, and then teaching your children that it is okay to fail once in a while. And by apologizing, and admitting that you were wrong too, you taught a valuable lesson to you son. There are a lot of people who were never taught to apologize and admit when they were wrong. And it doesn’t sound like JJ will be one of them.
What you describe is perfectly normal Jen…..and we ALL do it. You most definitely are NOT a ‘mother from hell.’ What I love about you…and what is most important…is that you are always honest with JJ. I agree with the other comment. Moms need to apologize too. A child needs to know that a parent isn’t perfect all the time. You have always been great about that Jen. You and JJ have a great relationship in that respect….that’s why you’ll NEVER be a ‘mother from hell.’ Hugs, Joy
That’s normal, we all have days like that, don’t fret (((hugs))).
Wow you are not alone here. And you are not the mother from hell, because at times I am! Only last Tuesday I had a bad day, and was cranky and yelled at my kids and had no patience with them. And when they were in bed, I truly realised how awful I behaved. Only a week later I am better, but last week I had PMS and I can blame it on that because I behave every month like that. So now I have identifed why I act like this and I need to counteract it. You are a great mum and you have a wonderful relationship with your little one, it truly makes a good mother when you can realise if you are making mistakes and try to correct them, which you are doing.
I think parents all have days like this, but the important thing is that we eventually take ownership of our contribution to the problem. If this happens to me and it is early in the day, then I try to get us all outside and getting active. If it is at the later end of the day, I do an express run to bedtime. Sometimes mum just needs some quiet!
M & B says
Yes, I had a couple of bad parenting days like that last week. Missy ends up in her room and I pace the garden like you. I always try to make up for it with a bit of fun.
On those particularly bad days (because mine can’t tell the time and winter darkness works in my favour), dinner is served early, and the bedtime routine shuffles itself to an earlier time slot to work in my favour!