Two Friday evenings ago was a bitch of a day as far as being a mum goes. It was the last day of the school term and JJ was obviously pretty tired of the whole school thing. He hadn’t had a great week at school (nothing too bad behaviour wise fortunately), and his teacher looked really fraught too. I tried to take that into account which is really hard when your son says that he hates you, and is constantly testing the limits. I also had a bit of a cold so wasn’t feeling the best. He’s still on minimal or no television and computer after the fighting episode at school so I couldn’t use these to get some respite. What parents did before television I don’t know. I guess they just sent the kids outside to play with their mates down the street.
After some disagreement he stormed off to his room to play. A little while later I decided to join him and have some floor time, ignoring the ‘you hate mes’ and ‘I hate yous’. It’s hard being hated (even though I know he doesn’t hate me really) and I can see why some parents cave in and give in to their kids demands. JJ was playing with his marbles and Magnetix and built a house. It looked really good and colourful so I decided to get the camera and take some photos.
This activity certainly deflected any bad feelings and it turned out to be fun. I set the camera up and took my photo for this month’s self portrait challenge.
It would be so easy to give up and put my head in my arms and have a very long sleep but to me, that’s not what parenting is about. I could have packed him off to bed and settled in front of the television instead of spending some quality time but I knew that I needed to develop a thicker skin and spend some time with him, time that was not spent picking at each other.
The absurd thing is that one minute I want to dig a big hole out in the back yard and bury him in it. The next minute I want to smother him with my love. Fortunately it doesn’t come to either of these extremes. (Of course I wouldn’t dig a big hole out in the back yard and bury him in it – it would take far too long.)
Parenting would have to be the most difficult and thankless tasks in the world. I’m glad it worked out well. It can be soooo hard to twist the negative spiral around to become a more positive spiral. My 3 are fighting and screaming right now. Better go see what the problem is.
ha ha ha ha – I read a great post this morning (here it is http://balefulregards.blogspot.com/2008/04/on-behalf-of-the-mean-mommies.html ) about mean mothers.
Sometimes both mothers and children need some time out – and it sounds like you guys had some great time out.
Adria Sha says
I’m feeling rather fed up with the I hate yous and Mean Mommy comments. It IS absurd, because they are too young really for me to take it personally, but it does get old after awhile.
Parenting is a thankless job. I’m holding out hope that then they hit 25 it will all be worth it.
love it! hehehe. especially that the reason you wouldn’t bury him is simply because it would take too long. kudos to you! parenting is a tough, tough, and often absurd job. who knew that you would find yourself elbow deep in someone else’s poop… and somehow find joy???
See, when you have teenagers, the thing that stops you digging the hole in the backyard is that it would have to be so damn big. Of course, I could get them to dig their holes themselves…
But I digress. Parenting runs the gamut from the sublime to the ridiculous and everything in between. It’s the best of times and often it’s the worst of times. But oh, so worth it 🙂
oh I understand this feeling so well!! parenting is one of the most exhausting tasks I’ve ever taken on. I love it.
The Brave says
Yep, it is no fun being the unpopular bad guy in your own home. Cracked wobblies are a mainstay in our household. Having said this these holidays have been great. I think Mister needed the break too, and to my utter relief he is not (yet) protesting at the reality of school next week. Those magnetix are cool hey. We borrowed some from the toy library last week.
oh hugs to you … we get it so much worse from our teen .
Glad you had and took the time to reconnect to your little guy.
i love what Suze said LOL
“Gee, when you have teenagers, the thing that stops you digging the hole in the backyard is that it would have to be so damn big. Of course, I could get them to dig their holes themselves”
I have my shovel ready every day