Archives for July 2007

Where oh where are the bloggers?

July 23, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

Yesterday she got home after a night out and not wanting to do much else, turned on her modem and her laptop. She’s a bit of a statistics junkie and felt the draw of checking her blog stats to see if there had been any surge in visitors, or not.

It was a resounding not. She thought that maybe the stats were wrong and there was a nought missing at the end. She did a bit of checking around and everything appeared to be normal. Her blog was up and there had been no downtime. It was a big disappointment especially as her stats had spiked to an all time high during the week.

Even when checking her favourite blogs, there weren’t as many blog posts as normal. What’s happened she wondered? Where is everyone? Usually there were a lot more people providing her with a tale to read over a late breakfast on a Sunday morning.

It wasn’t until this morning when she read this post over at Miscellaneous Adventures of an Australian Mum that she realised where those readers may have gone. Miscellaneous Mum’s denying her husband her husbandly rights but apart from this little post, she’s probably denying her blogging duties too. And so are a lot of others.

As for the stat junkie, she hasn’t yet got her copy of the latest Harry Potter book. She’s keen to read it, but not so keen that she wanted to line up on a cold Saturday morning to get her copy.

She’ll probably find out what happens before she reads it but that doesn’t bother her too much because the joy is in the reading of the story and if a major plot has been revealed beforehand, that’s not too bad.

She would like to know if it’s really good and if it lives up to the others? In fact, she will probably have to read the others again just to get back into the Harry Potter groove.

In the meantime, she’s still checking her stats to see if her readers have come back.

PS: Speaking of groove, this was for day 7 of the blogging groove project.

Annual Friends of Thomas The Tank Engine

July 22, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

I thought I’d better do something with my son these school holidays so we tagged along with a couple of friends and the rest of Adelaide to the Annual Friends of Thomas as the Railway Museum at Port Adelaide the other day.

As I turned into the carpark I could see it was going to be busy because of the huge queue of people waiting out the front.

We finally got in and joined up with our friends. It was a bit overwhelming for me because I’m not into things with huge crowds but it must be good for the Railway Museum. It cost the two of us $17 to get in, $12 for me and $5 for him, then it cost more for the train rides $2 each. We took our own food and I’m glad because the food choice there was very sideshow alley – fairyfloss and hot chips. The cinnamon donuts were missing – at least I couldn’t smell them.

The little shows that were on for the kids in the main shed weren’t at all entertaining for the adults but at least the kids seemed to enjoy them. I think with a bit more care a decent story could be developed and acted out that parents could sit through without grinding their teeth, and the kids could enjoy as well.

We certainly didn’t spend the whole day there, but escaped after an hour and a bit to the river-front, lunch and a glass of champagne.

I will go back to the museum one day just to see all the old trains a bit more closely.

Blogme in 10 seconds

July 21, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

BlogMe

Here’s my blogme2007BlogMe 10 second? introduction

My name’s Jen from South Australia and if you met me at BlogHer you would know who I am from the funny accent. I can hula hoop and I can play the ukulele, but not both at the same time. It’s hard enough to sing while playing. I’m a sole parent extraordinaire and a damn good friend. Unfortunately I won’t meet you at BlogHer this year because it’s a long way to go but I’d probably be too shy to talk to many of you anyway.

Bye for now. And maybe one year I’ll organise myself and get over to BlogHer. Mind you I say that every year.

Bits and blog bobs – 20 July 2007

July 20, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

Things I love from around the blogosphere, and why:

"I could have done five or six virgins by now." If this was the only bit you read you’d be doing yourself a disservice and you’d probably get the wrong idea about what the post is about. In fact I think once you get started on this blog you’ll find it fascinating reading. If you remember Granny Gets a Vibrator, this is from her latest blog (As the Tumor Turns), writing about what it’s like during/post cancer.
I don’t love cruelty to animals – not at all. In fact I don’t understand how people can be cruel to animals. Bob the 42 pound turtle is in intensive care after he was taken from his home and mutilated and his owners are facing a massive vet bill and need help. I’m including this because I love animals and hate seeing them mistreated.
Small pleasures with a weekly visit to the Farmer’s Market by Ronni Bennett and I can relate to this. A farmer’s market started near my place nearly one year ago. I try to go every week but as it’s on a Sunday morning it’s not always possible because I’m not here or I’ve had a very busy Saturday night. I do love the fresh produce and I love the fact that I’m not helping supermarket shareholders fill up their coffers, but helping local producers.
Nicole found my post the other day about being pregnant and alone and she’s got a similar story. She didn’t know she was pregnant until she was about six months along so in that respect we’re quite different as I knew just about straight away but it is interesting reading another person’s story. She seems to be pretty level headed and not too freaked out so it will be interesting following her story.
Last but not least, get your blogging groove back – day 4 from Problogger. It’s about link posts today which is what this post is. It’s a good series and worth saving for when and if you lose your blogging groove. I wouldn’t say I’ve lost mine but every now and again I do. It’s made me get off my butt and finish off and publish a couple of draft posts I had lying around. In fact, I would suggest another way to find something to publish on your blog is to look at your draft posts to see if there’s any material you can use when you can think of nothing else.

So it finally sank in that I was pregnant

July 18, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

The following is in response to your unasked question about what it’s like to know that you’re going to have a baby, knowing that you will be doing it without a partner. It’s also to help with my blogging groove, and now the All Women’s Blogging Carnival (week beginning 23 July).

When I found out I was going to have a baby was just the beginning of the my story as anyone who’s ever had children knows all too well.

Most people going through pregnancy have a partner to discuss things with. I would have loved to be in a long-term relationship before becoming pregnant and have my hopefully supportive partner to help me throughout but this was not the case. I left the father in England as I had a job and my dog to come back to. That sounds quite callous leaving my son’s father for a job and a dog but as I’ve mentioned before there were other factors to take into consideration (which I might divulge some time). I could have packed up everything and gone back to him but due to his circumstances I didn’t. I didn’t know whether he would be that supportive either so thought I would be better off in Australia.

When I arrived back in Australia it was a bit of an anti-climax. I felt like shit both emotionally and physically. I was nauseous nearly the whole time, vomited most mornings and felt really really tired. I had never felt so tired. I would drag myself to work, try and stay awake while doing my job and it was even harder because initially nobody at work knew of my condition.

When I got home I would go straight to bed for a restorative lie down then I would get up to eat. I was really lucky that I had two people living with me at the time who cooked for me quite regularly otherwise I would not have eaten much at all. I lived on fruit and fizzy drinks. I had a pasty one day and just through it up in the toilet an hour or so later. As it was I lost weight during the first trimester of my pregnancy. The only person that knew my news at that stage was one of the people living with me so luckily I had her to talk things over with.

On my first day back at work a colleague welcomed me back and asked if I came back married or pregnant. I nearly choked but at this stage I hadn’t told anyone else so I didn’t want him to be the first to know.

During my first week back at work I went to my local doctor, confirmed my pregnancy and booked myself into the hospital to give birth. It was all quite unreal at this stage and I was still experiencing a strong case of denial.

After this third positive pregnancy test I knew I had to tell my family. None of them lived in Adelaide at the time (I have one sister here now) so I phoned them. They were all duly surprised as this was totally unexpected but they all got over the shock remarkably well and were quite supportive.

After I told my family I gradually told my friends and then work colleagues. Stupidly I was a bit conscious of what they would think of me being single and pregnant but if anyone thought I was a stupid fool they didn’t say so to my face. I think I thought I was more of a stupid fool for getting myself pregnant than anyone else did. I’m sure that I provided some gossip amongst my friends for a while though. I kept trying to imagine myself with a child and how it might change my life as I knew it would. I tried to imagine going for walks with my dog and a pram and who the hell would babysit and what would I do during school holidays. I got carried away thinking through all the scenarios I could imagine that would occur when I was a mum. All the thinking in the world does not prepare you for when it actually happens though.

No sooner had I told my boss, he had a replacement lined up for my absence from work even though there were a few more months until I was to finish work.

Once I got over the hurdle of telling people important to me, the news soon spread to acquaintances on the grapevine, the next hurdle was to accumulate baby stuff for as little amount of money as possible. I’d just been on a nine week holiday overseas and didn’t have that much spare cash lying around to buy nursery furniture and other mountains of goods that newborns seem to need. I put the word out and soon my empty spare room (my housemate moved out very quickly soon after I told him I was pregnant but this is another story) was filling up with baby stuff.

Now, having used up all my baby stuff and being pretty sure I won’t have another one, I know it’s a relief to offload this gear as it takes up a lot of space and I have been able to get rid of it to friends who need it. I’ve heard about people who must have all brand new stuff which I don’t quite understand if you can get decent gear for free. I think the first brand new more expensive thing I bought JJ was his single bed once he grew out of his cot and this was when he was two years old.

As the due date came closer I seriously thought about who could be my birth support partner. One of my choices was immediately ruled out because she was also pregnant. I asked someone who I thought might be pretty good but she didn’t sound too keen and I don’t blame her as she doesn’t have any children and seeing someone give birth is pretty daunting I imagine. I ended up asking another friend who turned out to be just fabulous. As soon as she said she would do it she was there for me suggesting things that might be useful and just being really supportive.

One of the things she did was come to ante-natal classes with me. We were the only pair who weren’t both parents of the child to be. I think I could have done without these classes as they don’t really prepare you for anything but I did sit through a video of a non-complicated vaginal birth which I never thought I could do.

I’d booked myself into the Women’s and Children’s Hospital and they used to offer (and may still do) pregnancy yoga classes for women having children at their hospital. I heard about these classes fairly early on but it was all I could do to turn up to work and then go home and have a rest. I couldn’t face going to yoga after work until I was about 13 weeks pregnant. Once I started though, I kept going until the last week of my pregnancy. It was really relaxing doing the classes. I don’t know if it helped me during the birthing process but I’m sure it didn’t hinder.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I made up a list of what to take into hospital for the birth and she contributed some things also. We had, in no particular order:

bourbon and coke (didn’t drink it and why I thought it was a good idea I can’t imagine)
lollies (these came in handy)
two books – Saturday Night Fever and another one (we read one page)
Tape recorder and tapes (listened to for a while but had to turn off while getting an epidural and it never went back on)
coins for the carpark and the phone

I’d finally gotten over the denial that I was pregnant. This only happened when I went to my ultrasound at about 18 weeks and saw that baby move inside me. Not even the most deluded person can deny they’re pregnant when they see that.

What would you like to know next?

How I get my blogging groove back time and time again

July 17, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

I’ve been writing here for nearly three and a half years and I quite often get the blogging blues but I keep coming back, and here’s why (there’s tips for you here too):

The blogging community. There’s loads of people blogging in all sorts of areas and if you take the time to go out and meet them (because they don’t always come to you), then blogging will feel so much more rewarding. Two communities I participate in are BlogHer, and a recent one for me – Bumpzee.
Sometimes I just run out of ideas about what to blog so group writing projects are a great idea to get the juices flowing. This post is for one at Problogger. Scribbit has monthly ones with prizes, and MamaBlogga also has a monthly one with prizes. There are also plenty of blogging carnivals – just do a search.
I just love to write which is the primary reason I started this blog. I’ve always kept some kind of journal and then when I discovered blogging and started blogging I’ve become addicted. Part of it is the community as I mentioned above.
If I’m having a blogging slump sometimes I just need a few days off to regroup. The only way I can do that is if I pack my laptop away for the weekend and concentrate on spending quality time with my family. This can also potentially be blogging fodder.
Trying to prove a point to a certain extent. I wrote about my three year blogiversary that this blog is almost the longest relationship I’ve ever had.
Another community I participate in is Flickr because I like taking photos. I wouldn’t say I stun the Flickr community with my photo taking prowess, but I do use the pictures I take to write around, or to add to my blog posts.

Hopefully these are some tips to help get your blogging groove back.

Being a parent. Is it my most adventurous moment?

July 16, 2007 by Jen at Semantically driven

Once upon a time I was an adult who didn’t have a care in the world but when my next social outing was going to be and who it was going to be with.

Then I booked a round the world airplane ticket ten whole months before I was due to fly out because that’s how adventurous I am. Mmm. Ok, I’m a bit cautious and knew that if I didn’t book this flight then I could make lots of excuses not to go.

I travelled and worked overseas for two years and had little adventures along the way, had a great time and met loads of great people, came back from that and worked and studied for six years and also ventured into a four year relationship. After that broke off, and after I finished studying I ventured overseas again, got pregnant, and some could say, I wandered into the biggest adventure of my life. Or did I?

Sure, some might say that getting pregnant while overseas knowing that the father is not going to be any help financially, emotionally or physically is a big adventure, or they just might say it’s plain stupidity.

When I became pregnant I definitely ventured into the unknown. I didn’t know how I would cope with being a parent, let alone a sole parent. I didn’t know how I would cope financially. My paid maternity leave lasted for three months and I was lucky to even get that, but then I had six months of having to rely on government benefits. To anyone who says that women get pregnant to live off benefits has obviously never done it because it barely meets expenses. Luckily having a new baby is not conducive to going out and spending lots of money.

I consider myself not to be really adventurous at all these days. If I want to be spontaneous, something I equate with being adventurous, it’s practically impossible unless I can drag my child along with me. But then, what really is adventure? Does it have to be something big? No I don’t think so.

For now it’s the little adventures during each day like seeing something in a new light that my son points out. It’s not knowing what each day will bring because being a parent is unpredictable. That birthday party he’s been invited to might be the place to meet someone new that I never would have met before. It’s realising that while his reading is fairly average, he seems to grasp math concepts beyond his age. It’s knowing that he’s growing up too damn fast and I’d better make the most of this time we have together where he actually wants to spend it with me because I’m the best person in the world.

These are the little adventures that keep me going until the next big adventure comes along. And who’s to say that next big adventure won’t be together?

So back to my original question, ‘Is being a parent my most adventurous moment?’. I can’t answer that yet because it’s still happening. As I’m not one for regrets, I don’t regret that I have missed out on different adventurous moments I might have had if I wasn’t a parent.

This is for Scribbit’s July Write-Away contest.

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