Two Friday evenings ago was a bitch of a day as far as being a mum goes. It was the last day of the school term and JJ was obviously pretty tired of the whole school thing. He hadn’t had a great week at school (nothing too bad behaviour wise fortunately), and his teacher looked really fraught too. I tried to take that into account which is really hard when your son says that he hates you, and is constantly testing the limits. I also had a bit of a cold so wasn’t feeling the best. He’s still on minimal or no television and computer after the fighting episode at school so I couldn’t use these to get some respite. What parents did before television I don’t know. I guess they just sent the kids outside to play with their mates down the street.
After some disagreement he stormed off to his room to play. A little while later I decided to join him and have some floor time, ignoring the ‘you hate mes’ and ‘I hate yous’. It’s hard being hated (even though I know he doesn’t hate me really) and I can see why some parents cave in and give in to their kids demands. JJ was playing with his marbles and Magnetix and built a house. It looked really good and colourful so I decided to get the camera and take some photos.
This activity certainly deflected any bad feelings and it turned out to be fun. I set the camera up and took my photo for this month’s self portrait challenge.
It would be so easy to give up and put my head in my arms and have a very long sleep but to me, that’s not what parenting is about. I could have packed him off to bed and settled in front of the television instead of spending some quality time but I knew that I needed to develop a thicker skin and spend some time with him, time that was not spent picking at each other.
The absurd thing is that one minute I want to dig a big hole out in the back yard and bury him in it. The next minute I want to smother him with my love. Fortunately it doesn’t come to either of these extremes. (Of course I wouldn’t dig a big hole out in the back yard and bury him in it – it would take far too long.)