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You are here: Home / 2006 / Archives for August 2006

Archives for August 2006

Are your children boring, or is it you?

August 31, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

A few weekends ago while reading reading the Weekend Australian I read an article in it that talked about a writer called Helen Kirwan-Taylor who wrote an article for the Daily Mail entitled, Sorry, but my children bore me to death!.

She talks about consistently lying to other people to get out of attending events related to her children. She says:

"The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned
complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the
other mothers.

I confess that I was probably ogling the merchandise at Harvey Nichols
or having my highlights done instead. Of course I love my children as
much as any mother, but the truth is I found such events so boring that
I made up any excuse."

She goes on to say that children have become women’s careers after they’ve worked long and hard to get where they are:

"It’s as though motherhood is an exclusive private club and everybody is a member except for us few. But then, kids have become careers, often the Last Career, for millions of women who have previously trained for years to enter professional fields of business."

She says that her kids know her limitations and know that things they enjoy bore her rigid:

"They stopped asking me to take them to the park (how tedious) years ago. But now when I try to entertain them and say: ‘Why don’t we get out the Monopoly board?’ they simply look at me woefully and sigh: ‘Don’t bother, Mum, you’ll just get bored.’ How right they are."

This was the comment that tipped me over the edge of disbelief for her audacity in writing this. It makes me feel quite sick that she hasn’t found or written about any positives with her article. I feel really sorry for her two boys presuming they’ve read this. They probably just rolled their eyes and said, ‘It’s all right mum, you bore us too.’ In fact one of her sons has.

Having to deal with kids can be tedious. When JJ was a toddler I would sometimes stay at work a bit longer because he was going through a really awful stage and I was at my wits end to know how to deal with him when I got home. I would drive home and he’d just scream all the way home. I couldn’t then leave him with our nanny or his father because neither of those exist in our household. So when I got home, I’d feed him, bath him, I’d still cuddle and kiss him no matter how stressed or upset I was, and put him to bed then sit down like a zombie in front of the tv with a well deserved glass of wine.

Yes it can be boring having kids and having to sacrifice what you would really like to be doing for bringing them up. There are days when I’d much rather sleep in, then go to a cafe with the weekend paper and read it at my leisure over a cup of coffee and something nice to eat. Instead I take JJ and the dog for a walk, pick up the paper and might get a chance to have a look at it when he’s not yelling at me to see his latest trick on the bike or the slippery dip.

It’s the little moments that make being a parent really worthwhile and get you through the tedious and stressful times. This is why I try and focus on the positives (see ‘The things I love about him’ – you have to scroll down) with my son as it’s all too easy to focus on the negatives and let them consume you.

I know it’s a cliche, but my son has, and no doubt will continue to, enrich my life. I’ve become closer with other friends who have children, I’m getting to know more people in my community because of him going to school. He cracks me up with some of the things he says sometimes. Words can’t express how much I enjoy ‘huggle’ time and how much I love it when he says he loves me more than the sky.

Helen’s article was supposed to denounce the child-centric model of parenting and I suspect it was written to incite controversy which it has. Just do a blog search and see for yourself, but hopefully the controversy is not to the detriment of her boys.

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The wattle is in flower

August 28, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

Wattle flower with bee feeding

When driving along roads or walking around Adelaide at the moment the main colour you might see is yellow as the wattle is flowering.

With my new camera and the macro setting I took some photos of it up close, along with some other flowering natives. Click on the photo to view them.

On this one though, note the bee having a good old dig around!

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Accident on my street

August 27, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

Today I was sitting at my computer while JJ was at a party. This is the very first time I’ve left him at a party by himself. I was working away at my computer when I heard a big bang, then shortly afterwards I heard someone screaming.

Looking out my window I saw a car had backed into the fence across the road and thought I’d better see what was going on. When I got outside I saw a woman bending over someone lying on the road. My first thought was she’d run over a kid.

I went over the road towards her and it was obvious he’d been hit by the car. I asked if she’d called an ambulance but someone else who’d seen the accident was already on the phone.

I’ve done first aid and the things you’re supposed to do ran through my head – check for danger being the first thing. While first aid courses are great, they don’t really prepare you for a real life situation and they don’t prepare you for distressed wives trying to wake up their husband who is lying on the side of the road.

Meanwhile there were a couple of other witnesses who’d pulled up and got out and were helping too. They put a jacket over him to keep him warm and I ran inside to get my crochet rug for his legs and a low cushion to cushion his head from the road. I thought of attempting to put him in the recovery position, but he was coming round and obviously in pain so I thought I’d leave him alone.

His wife, realising we’d called an ambulance, asked if we could just drive him to the hospital because they couldn’t afford an ambulance. I said, no way, I understand you don’t want to pay for the ambulance but it could make it a lot worse if we move him as we don’t know what injuries he’s got. She was more worried about having to pay for an ambulance I think. She even asked the paramedics but because it was a car related accident, insurance covers it.

How the accident happened was a bit bizarre. Apparently the husband got out of or fell out of the car as it was reversing. The wife then went forward and then backwards in the car. She ran over his legs doing this – once or twice I’m not sure.

The ambulance was really quick in getting there and then two fire engines turned up. It was by no means a full-on road traffic accident but they must have to turn up anyway. About five police cars also turned up and then shortly afterwards, the media. I realised they were filming and got out of their way – didn’t fancy watching myself on the news. There were no reporters though, and as it wasn’t a fatality I presume that’s why I saw nothing on the news tonight.

If you’re ever in this situation, you’d better hope you’re not wearing good clothes because they cut them off you. As his shoulder and legs were injured they cut his tops and pants so he won’t be wearing these clothes again. The poor bugger though, it had started to drizzle, he was practically naked and it’s the tail end of winter, he was obviously in shock and obviously bloody freezing. He looked as if he were convulsing he was shivering so much.

By this time more neighbours had come out to have a look to see what was going on.

In the meantime it was time for me to go and pick JJ up but I couldn’t get out of my driveway to drive and get him. I was just about to ring up and explain when I got a phone call saying the party had finished early because of the drizzle. I explained the situation and was able to leave about ten minutes later after the ambulance left to go and get him.

I think next time I’ll just stay at the party.

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Parenting while sick

August 25, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

I’ve just spent the last five days or so sick. On Monday I thought I had a head cold so took the day off work to rest. It continued on Tuesday, and on Wednesday I went to the doctor and he gave me the rest of the week off. This is great if you don’t have to worry about other stuff.

Of course in my case, the other stuff is a five-year-old who still needs to be fed, washed and have school lunches prepared. On the Tuesday I felt so miserable – I’d had a headache all day that just wouldn’t go away – that I had to get my sister to pick JJ up from after school care. Luckily she was around to ask and was able to do this. Unfortunately she just dropped him off so while I gave him some leftovers I just sat at the table with my throbbing head in my hands. I went through the motions of whatever else I did that night and got him to bed and was in bed not much later myself. Luckily I’ve trained him such that he will go to bed and stay in bed without hassles.

Luckily JJ is at school and I have utilised after school care this week but my place is in the throes of being painted so I couldn’t even have quiet time at home. On Wednesday it was okay because I hung out at my sister’s place for the day but that option wasn’t open to me yesterday so I laid on the couch all day watching the painter hard at work.

Today wasn’t so bad. I’m almost back to normal but it does confirm that sole parenting is even bloody harder when you are sick. When JJ has been sick, that’s bearable, because so long as I’m well, I can manage. But when I’m physically incabable of functioning for myself, it’s ten times worse trying to look after another person as well.

The first time I really got sick as a parent was when JJ was just shy of two years old. I woke up about 3am and made it to the toilet in time to throw up. When JJ got up about 6.30, it was all I could do to get him breakfast inbetween me vomiting. I knew I wouldn’t function throughout the day tending to him and I racked my brains trying to think of who could have him. This was before I had any family at all in the area. I called upon a good friend who took him for the day with her new boyfriend in tow. I said to her afterwards, you’ve got to keep a hold of him because he was so understanding of you having JJ for the day. They are now married with their own child so she heeded my advice.

In situations like I’ve had this week I try and stay positive by thinking that the cold will be over in a few days and then I will be back to normal. Both of us are usually healthy and that’s what matters as things could be a whole lot worse. I will be glad when I get my sense of taste back though. It’s awful eating food and it tasting like cardboard.

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The lurgy

August 23, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

Had to get on my computer to put my out of office on as this is my third day off sick. It’s all I can do to tend to my child at this time as I feel dreadful. Am off to doctor shortly, then more rest, rest rest…

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Decorating

August 18, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

Second time lucky with this post. Typepad went all wacko before!!

I bought my house about eight years ago and it’s an old house – over 100 years – and the guy who owned it previously was a bit of a cowboy when it came to maintenance. Since I’ve taken over I’ve renewed the roof, the side fence, the pergola, a new lounge room window, and revamped the backyard. He was also a junk collector so there wasn’t really a backyard. His wife made them move so she could get away from it. He took quite a bit with him which he ended up junking and left way more than he should have here which I used two mini skips to get rid of a lot of it.

I’ve also done some work on the inside. I painted the bathroom a year or so after I moved in. Then when JJ was three months old I painted his bedroom from the pink that it was. Even if he had been a girl I still would have painted. This was an interesting process as motherhood was new to me and he wasn’t a great sleeper during the day so as soon as I’d put him down for a sleep I’d go and paint. I vowed that I would never paint another room in my house again as there is so preparation work to be done in an old house.

Three years later I found myself painting my bedroom. I didn’t have time to find a painter to do it for me as I had a very short time frame before the built-in wardrobe was done.

This time round I’ve got a painter and he’s going to do nearly the rest of the house starting in the back room.

This sample was done around the time I painted the bathroom – before JJ was born – and I haven’t touched it since. It’s not going to be this colour but it’s an indication of my slackness that it’s stayed like this for as long as it has.

The other photos in this set (click on the photo to view) show that undercoat wasn’t even put on some of the walls and note the lack of skirting boards. Obviously when the room was built the job wasn’t finished properly.

The walls are being painted today.

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G’day

August 16, 2006 by Jen at Semantically driven

G’day to anyone who’s visiting from Diary of A Single Mom on the Edge. I’ve been reading Nina’s (Janeen’s) various weblogs since I first started mine in April 2004 and it’s great to see her progress with her blogging by getting a gig on Club Mom and have you visit me from her.

Welcome.

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