I recently won a copy from Single Mom Seeking of ‘Accidentally on Purpose: The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother‘ by Mary F Pols.
I liked the first part of the book title – ‘Accidentally on Purpose’ because I can kind of relate to it, but the second part ‘The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother’ really made me think. Am I, a single mother, happy? Can any single mother be happy?
Most of the time I’m happy, or I think I am, and I wonder how other single parents feel? I know a few of them but I’ve never asked them directly if they’re happy or not. I also know that every single parent’s circumstances are quite different and if you’re escaping from an abusive relationship and are living in poverty then it’s unlikely that you’ll be that happy.
I was curious to know what made Mary happy as a single mother. A bit of background: Mary became pregnant after a one night stand at age 39 and decided to keep the baby. She told the baby’s father and she was very lucky that he wanted to be involved. It wasn’t that simple of course, but generally it’s worked out pretty well for her.
Unlike Mary’s situation, my son’s father is not involved with him. He lives in a different country and I’ve lost touch with him. You can read more about about meeting JJ’s father (on Ourstory.com), when I found out I was pregnant, and what it felt like to be pregant while single.
During those early days when I was pregnant and a new mum I don’t think I was that happy. I was stressed. I really missed adult company – especially when I wasn’t working. Now I’m much more at ease being a single mum but I still look at my son in wonder sometimes because I can’t quite believe that he’s mine. It’s a weird feeling when I remember that I’m a mum and that I’m responsible for another human being’s wellbeing.
So now I am more at ease with being a mum and with my situation I am pretty content. When I do feel a bit down I look at the good things in my life – my son and I are healthy, I’ve got a job, we’ve got a pretty good social life and a good network of friends and family, and I’m buying my own house with a manageable mortgage.A good state of mind is so important and quite vital in the happiness stakes.
I could have it so much worse.
So to you single mums, or single dads, are you happy? If you’re not a single parent I’m sure you know some. Are they happy?