I was at a friend’s place on Friday evening and Jaycee Junior was in my face and got a bit too close to my boobs. I said to him please don’t hit mummy’s boobies because they’re a bit sore.

He immediately balled his hands up into fists and punched each boob with perfect precision quite hard. It really hurt. He got sent outside for a bit which he wasn’t happy about and eventually said sorry. I don’t actually think he was really sorry. He just wanted to go and feed the chookens not worry about mummy’s bruised boobies.