My son turned three nearly two months ago and I thought the terrible two’s would be pretty much over and that we would just breeze through the next stage – WRONG! I would say we are quite constantly at loggerheads and it’s bloody hard. Sometimes I feel like throwing myself on the floor and having a tantrum myself and I nearly have a couple of times. It is a battle of the wills and sometimes I think he will just hate me for screaming at him to behave himself or do what I ask him to do. The trouble is at this stage there is no negotiation or reasoning.
Example – Saturday night we went to some friends holiday home and stayed the night and went for a walk the next day with them (three boys and my friends). Their holiday home is near a big lake and there’s a tiny bit of beach that we walked to. We took all the boys clothes off so they could romp around naked on the sand and in the water. Mind you it was 14 degrees celsius out there and us adults were fairly rugged up. Jaycee Junior had a great time and was still running around naked after the other three boys had all their clothes put back on. He refused to let me put his clothes on and even when we were about to walk back he still wouldn’t let me even though I could see that he was cold – the bottom lip was shivering and he had goosebumps. I didn’t want to get into yet another fight with him as we’d already had a major battle that day about wiping his dirty bottom after going to the toilet so I said ok just hop in the pram and you don’t need to get dressed. I just gave him his singlet to cover his bits. He had the gall to ask for a rug and I said that I would dress him but I didn’t have a rug to cover him with. After the short walk back he was more than ready for me to put his clothes back on. Unfortunately I can’t always do this. I think our trouble is that we are as stubborn as each other and I don’t want to always give in. I’m hoping this is a case of short term pain for long term gain. What I have found in the past though is that we go through these tough stages together and when we get through it, it’s pretty plain sailing until the next hurdle.
Rewind back to Saturday night and we decided to have dinner at the pub. The four boys were all hyped up even before we got there and we ummed and arred about even walking in as it was pretty easy to predict it could be a total nightmare but we did it anyway. The dining room was very brightly lit and I felt really under the spotlight walking in. We sorted out drinks for everyone and ordered food straight away and Jaycee Junior sat down waiting for his fish and chips. When they arrived he pushed them away saying he didn’t want them – aaaaggghhhh! I don’t push the food eating thing anymore as it’s more trouble than it’s worth. My son is definitely not an under eater so if he refuses to eat one meal he will not starve. He did of course eat some in the end.
There was a kids corner setup with toys, a tv and a video. What parents used to do without tv and video I can’t imagine. It’s my saving grace sometimes. Well my son decided he wanted to stand right in front of the tv so nobody else could see and of course the other boys were getting upset about it and I could see there was going to be trouble so I went over to intervene. We were sitting a bit of a way back from the kids corner and there were tables of other people close by and as I walked up I could hear someone say that there was going to be trouble soon. I knelt down and dragged him away from the tv and of course he didn’t like that. I tried to explain that he was in the way and others couldn’t see and he refused to sit back. The other diners were watching me and having a bit of a laugh so I turned around and asked them for advice on what to do. No, you’re doing a good job said one of them. Luckily there was one beanbag and I got him to sit on that and went back to my meal. It wasn’t too bad after that but we left as soon as we finished eating and put the kids to bed as soon as we got back.
Having said all that there are golden moments which are the moments that get you through the day being a parent. Being told you’re beautiful, being given kisses on the face and arms, being given a lovely huggle and watching them sleep. Jaycee Junior also had his first try on a two wheel bike with trainer wheels and got quite frustrated initially but to his credit kept on trying and did quite well. So that’s the next thing I want to get him.
As I was putting him to bed last night we had a good talk and huggle and I tried to explain to him that it’s hard work with him sometimes for reasons I’ve outlined above and sorry that mummy gets cross sometimes, but praised him for all the good things he did that weekend as well.