Last night we went to the pub where we have ukulele practise. We met a friend a bit early to enjoy some dinner beforehand. I ordered food and drinks from the bar and an man old enough to be my father started talking to us. His opening line was, ‘Where does he come from?’ He was referring to JJ and those of you who’ve seen photos of him will know that he isn’t anglo in appearance. I told him that JJ comes from Adelaide which is my standard response to questions like this. The man said that of course he knew that and I relented and told him where JJ’s father was originally from.

He kept talking to me and told me that he’d lived in the Carribbean for a number of years, amongst other things. After we ordered we sat down at our table not far from the bar and JJ sat on a two-seater couch by himself while my friend and I sat in single chairs. Then this man came and sat down next to JJ and it really gave me the creeps.

My first thought was that he was sleazy and maybe my instinct was correct. Have I been conditioned to think that anyone who shows an interest in my son has ulterior motives? I wanted to tell him to go away. The nice girl in me didn’t do that but my eyes were glued. He might have been perfectly innocent and genuinely interested in a non-sleazy way, but who would come and sit down uninvited? Not many people I would think.

I really wasn’t interested in having him sit there and I really didn’t want him sitting there next to my son. JJ is an affectionate boy and has trouble understanding the concept of personal space and sometimes who to be affectionate with, and I didn’t want this potentially sleazy man getting his rocks off by having my son touch him, and then having an excuse to touch him back.

What would you have said to this man?