Archives for 2016

Huh!

Today’s writing prompt is Joy. Today is the day that Donald Trump looks to be voted in as the next US President. I don’t feel any joy thinking about that.

I’m going to try and distract myself with joyous things instead.

Joy is in the nature around us.

Joy is in being able to relax and not give two hoots about how you look to others.

Joy is in seeing an unbelievable sunset – one like you’ve never seen before.

Joy is in being able to stay in a hotel where you get a kick-ass view during the day and the night.

Joy is being able to go on a holiday and see and experience some great things.

It’s so easy to become angry with the small things. A car cuts you off when you are in a hurry to get somewhere. Your child hasn’t put their dirty clothes in the wash for the umpteenth time.

What about anger with the bigger issues? Anger at a proposed nuclear waste dump in your state? Anger at a political candidate who may become the next US President.

Whether it’s a small or large reason you get angry it’s a reason that’s not in your control. But it’s how you manage your anger or what you do as a result of it that you can control.

Unfortunately I can’t change who will or won’t be the next US President, but I sure hope I’m not angry as a result. As for what I may do if it’s not the result I want? I might direct my anger and turn it to alcohol. That will work for a little while right?

She gets up early while it’s still dark and takes the dog for a walk.

When she gets home she makes a cup of tea and a plate of muesli with some fresh fruit and takes it outside.

She sits and watches the sky gradually get lighter as the sun gets higher. The birds are waking up and flying around as they start their day. A kookaburra laughs in a nearby tree and as this has become nearly a daily occurrence she feels like it’s saying good morning to her alone.

She can hear the traffic hum from the main road at the bottom of the hill.

She sips her cup of tea and, even though there is background noise from the birds and the traffic she relishes the calm feeling of this time of day and doesn’t really think of specific things about the day ahead.

She hears the door open and a little voice asks, ‘What’s for breakfast mum?’.

She found out later he may not have physically cheated on her but the fact that he was looking over the fence to the greener grass and away from her was nearly the same thing.

Her suspicions that he was becoming more distant were correct. When he was physically present he wasn’t emotionally present. She could pick up on these things and it didn’t bode well for the future she’d hoped they might have.

She tried discussing their relationship future with him but he wouldn’t even commit to talking about that. It left her feeling frustrated. Frustrated that she’d tried for the second time a relationship with him, one that he’d chased her for, and frustrated that his heart wasn’t really in it.

She decided to call it off with him one evening. It was relatively quick actually, as in 10 minutes from the time she told him it was over, him looking at her blankly and saying, ‘okay’, and him picking up his few things, saying goodbye, and walking out the door.

One of the share houses I lived in was near the first house I ever bought. I’d met my housemate at a party and we became friends so when she was looking for someone to move in and I was looking for somewhere to live, I moved in with her. She didn’t eat much, just drank wine from casks so she always had that wine smell about her. Even though she didn’t eat much if I’d left a plate and knife out after making vegemite on toast she’d go and tidy up after me before I had the chance to. Her neat freak didn’t mind a bit of cleaning up after the not so neat freak me. So we got on quite well.

I hadn’t been living there that long when in the middle of one night I was asleep in bed and woke up to her screaming in her bedroom next door. I lay in bed really still wondering if what I’d heard was real and then she screamed again. I didn’t know what the hell was going on so yelled out something like, ‘what’s happening’, or ‘are you okay’? She yelled back to stay in my room. It’s a bit sketchy to me now exactly what she said but she was very clear I wasn’t to leave my room. She kept screaming. I can’t remember if communicated to me then, or I didn’t find out until afterwards that an intruder was in her room.

I didn’t know what to do. The phone was in the hallway (no mobile phones then) and she was adamant I stay in my room. Meanwhile she kept screaming. I wanted to help but was frozen to the spot.

It would have only been a couple of minutes after it all started that she told me he’d gone. He’d gone out through the back of the house. She’d woken up to this guy in her bedroom, managed to crawl into the unused fireplace and just keep screaming and screaming until he left.

We called the police, they came around and had a look and as we didn’t think we’d be able to sleep there that night we went to a friend’s house.

We got over that one and it became a story to tell to friends including a couple of my friends who came over one night. We were in the lounge having a few drinks and catching up, and after a while they left so I went to go to bed.

It didn’t take me too long to realise that someone had been in my room – probably something to do with their access and exit via the bedroom window. They stole my handbag and a bra.

I couldn’t stay at this house for long after the second break-in. I didn’t enjoy being at home anymore and I didn’t feel safe. I feared another break-in.

I moved probably about a month later. This time I shared a house with 2 mates who played in one of Adelaide’s well-known punk bands. Nobody broke into that house while I lived there.

I was lucky that I was able to get into the housing market in the late 1990s before house prices started going really crazy. I could just afford a little house with a backyard. Admittedly it needed some work doing to it which I did over a number of years – pergola, backyard refurb, new fence, new roof and finally – a new kitchen.

I was able to get the dog I’d always wanted because I had the room to do so. It was close to the city, close to public transport and close enough to visit friends and so on. Not too long after I bought it a friend moved in to take some of the load off the mortgage and a couple of years after that I became a parent and was really thankful I had somewhere permanent to live without having to worry about renting. The friend who’d moved in moved out before the lad came along – can’t say I blame him.

When the lad was in his later years of primary school I felt like I started to grow out of the place. It was a single fronted cottage on a fairly small block and even though it had three bedrooms, a living area, kitchen and while it had a back room near the bathroom, the back room wasn’t insulated too well so couldn’t be used as another living area during cold winter nights or hot summer days. The kitchen was a bit small so as soon as you had a few people around it started to feel quite crowded.

It was also very close to a very busy main road and I couldn’t sleep with the windows or front door open because of traffic noise. I ummed and aaahhed over what to do but in the end the only logical thing was to sell and move. The thought of packing and moving and all the tasks associated with that was very daunting but I finally bit the bullet and got the ball rolling. Actually I sold my old house privately from a chance meeting. I think things would have been different had that meeting not happened. I hope I still would have sold the house and moved.

Packing, moving, changing addresses, sorting out finance – yes it was hard – especially doing it largely by myself. Luckily I’ve got some fantastic friends who helped me pack boxes, move some of them before the big moving day, and unpack and sort out where furniture can go. A tip – if anyone offers to help you move – take them up on it.

We’ve been in this house for nearly one year and whenever I get home from work, or being out, and I look out the back towards the fantastic view we’ve got I know I made the right decision. Someone asked me the other day if I bring work home with me but apart from things occasionally cropping up, as soon as I step onto the property I forget about work. JJ is also really happy that we moved. He lucked out with the bedroom he’s got and told me he’s really happy here. He’s proud to bring friends here where he wasn’t so keen in our last house. The layout of this house works much better for us. It’s not heaps bigger inside than the old house but with three bedrooms, one main bathroom, kitchen, lounge and a separate dining room it works a lot better.

So, short term pain for long term gain? Yes it was.