In part 1 of ‘How to combine a career and kid and a kid and stay sane‘ I focused a bit on the work and the daily routine aspect and said I’d talk about the switching off from the career and kid bit this time.
I think the best way for me to do that is to get a night out. When I’ve read similar things to what I’m about to write I thought easier said than done, but it is totally worth doing. That is, finding a regular babysitter and getting some time out.
It’s taken me nearly seven years to get this stage mind you. I’m finally comfortable booking the babysitter and then organising a night out whereas previously I would organise babysitting around a night out.
I got home recently after seeing a great show at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival – ‘Intimate Apparel’ and realised how grateful I was that I was able to have nights out sans child. It makes a HUGE (and I hardly ever write in all caps so I really mean it) difference to my parenting if I’m not parenting all the time.
The paradox is, of course, that some nights I find myself just talking about the quirky things that JJ’s done recently. One story I’ll probably tell my friends when I catch up with them is that JJ asked a group of Spanish people at the backpackers we stayed at recently, how do you say ‘vagina’ in Spanish. I was slightly embarrassed that he chose this word but they thought it was funny.
I’ve learned not to worry about only getting a few hours sleep before I have to do the pickup in the morning, although I’m a lot better now at drinking more water inbetween the alcoholic drinks. On my nights out when JJ was a baby and a toddler I’d get to bed after a night out and then freak out at how late it was and have a hard time getting to sleep, therefore making the situation worse. Now I look at the clock before going to bed and think, oh well at least I should get four hours sleep. And I also think of how little sleep I survived on when JJ used to keep me up all the time.
It’s now been a few weeks since I’ve had a JJ free night, and it’s about time I organised a night out.
It is so hard finding that balance, isn’t it?
Sleepovers at friends are just starting to come into the picture but I have a friend I swap nights with and that makes planning so much easier.
Jeanie, I haven’t yet found that regular friend although if I’m desperate I can call on friends. Sleepovers will be good.
A break makes all the difference for recharging the batteries 😉
Jayne, oooh yeah! A definite must do.
We are so blessed to have our grandparents live close by. They are absolutely the best source of help, love and devotion to our kids. This was one of the major points which made my wife stay home working on her beloved site, taking care of the kids. I know so many families dont have grandparents or simply live too far from each other. God bless them.