A few weekends ago while reading reading the Weekend Australian I read an article in it that talked about a writer called Helen Kirwan-Taylor who wrote an article for the Daily Mail entitled, Sorry, but my children bore me to death!.
She talks about consistently lying to other people to get out of attending events related to her children. She says:
"The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned
complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the
other mothers.I confess that I was probably ogling the merchandise at Harvey Nichols
or having my highlights done instead. Of course I love my children as
much as any mother, but the truth is I found such events so boring that
I made up any excuse."
She goes on to say that children have become women’s careers after they’ve worked long and hard to get where they are:
"It’s as though motherhood is an exclusive private club and everybody is a member except for us few. But then, kids have become careers, often the Last Career, for millions of women who have previously trained for years to enter professional fields of business."
She says that her kids know her limitations and know that things they enjoy bore her rigid:
"They stopped asking me to take them to the park (how tedious) years ago. But now when I try to entertain them and say: ‘Why don’t we get out the Monopoly board?’ they simply look at me woefully and sigh: ‘Don’t bother, Mum, you’ll just get bored.’ How right they are."
This was the comment that tipped me over the edge of disbelief for her audacity in writing this. It makes me feel quite sick that she hasn’t found or written about any positives with her article. I feel really sorry for her two boys presuming they’ve read this. They probably just rolled their eyes and said, ‘It’s all right mum, you bore us too.’ In fact one of her sons has.
Having to deal with kids can be tedious. When JJ was a toddler I would sometimes stay at work a bit longer because he was going through a really awful stage and I was at my wits end to know how to deal with him when I got home. I would drive home and he’d just scream all the way home. I couldn’t then leave him with our nanny or his father because neither of those exist in our household. So when I got home, I’d feed him, bath him, I’d still cuddle and kiss him no matter how stressed or upset I was, and put him to bed then sit down like a zombie in front of the tv with a well deserved glass of wine.
Yes it can be boring having kids and having to sacrifice what you would really like to be doing for bringing them up. There are days when I’d much rather sleep in, then go to a cafe with the weekend paper and read it at my leisure over a cup of coffee and something nice to eat. Instead I take JJ and the dog for a walk, pick up the paper and might get a chance to have a look at it when he’s not yelling at me to see his latest trick on the bike or the slippery dip.
It’s the little moments that make being a parent really worthwhile and get you through the tedious and stressful times. This is why I try and focus on the positives (see ‘The things I love about him’ – you have to scroll down) with my son as it’s all too easy to focus on the negatives and let them consume you.
I know it’s a cliche, but my son has, and no doubt will continue to, enrich my life. I’ve become closer with other friends who have children, I’m getting to know more people in my community because of him going to school. He cracks me up with some of the things he says sometimes. Words can’t express how much I enjoy ‘huggle’ time and how much I love it when he says he loves me more than the sky.
Helen’s article was supposed to denounce the child-centric model of parenting and I suspect it was written to incite controversy which it has. Just do a blog search and see for yourself, but hopefully the controversy is not to the detriment of her boys.
