Archives for August 2004

A woman in my mother’s group invited me to a cookware party a couple of weeks ago and because I had nothing on that weekend I thought it might be all right to go and have a look and have a girlie afternoon. Anyway the party was this weekend just gone and I began to regret my decision to go. I really don’t like these parties where you feel obliged to buy stuff. My sister’s recently become a Tupperware consultant and initially hassled me to have a party and I’ve insisted that I won’t. If I want to buy overpriced Tupperware from her I will but for my budget the plastic stuff you can buy at the supermarket will do for me.

Anyway the party on Saturday was due to start at 1pm and at 11pm I thought I’d better move that shrub I’ve been meaning to move so I can get a sandpit in that spot. I thought it would be a relatively easy matter of digging around it a bit, pulling it up and then planting it in its new home. Of course this wasn’t the case because the roots had gone down quite deep into the ground – probably to find water when I don’t water it. So I got a fair chunk of the roots up and got the saw out and hacked the rest off. I’ve replanted the shrub in its new home and it’s still looking ok. I don’t have high expectations of its lifespan but it will be good if it does survive and if it does, it definitely belongs in my garden. This done I decided to mow the lawn as I was going to be out at the party then going to a friends place for dinner and it was supposed to rain the next day so this was the only time I could do it. Then I had to wash the dishes for similar reasons to what I’ve just mentioned. I did the polite thing, though and rang the party host to say I would be a bit late.

I was 20 minutes late which was a pretty good effort I thought and just as well I had rung as I was the second of only two guests. I was handed a brochure and a price list and just as well I was sitting down when I saw the price list as the cheapest saucepan was about $180. The party host and the other guest are obviously more financial than me as they spent $600 between them. I sort of felt a bit guilty for not buying anything but my mother’s group friend was fine about it – she roughly knows about my financial situation or lack thereof. I don’t belong in the set that has a husband earning good money. None of the others in my mother’s group turned up and it probably would have been out of their price range too. It was great cookware and I would like to be able to afford it, but I’ll have to stick with the stainless steel and teflon at this stage.

The business was all over in flash, the cookware packed up, the other guest and the demonstrator left and I sat down with the party host and had a glass of white wine. Really that’s all I wanted to do anyway.

On an aside, the wine comment reminded me. While getting ready for work and kindy this morning we couldn’t find my sons shoes and he was no help in remembering where they were. We eventually found them when I actually looked properly. So while I was getting breakfast ready Jaycee Junior said to me that I should have a glass of wine. When I asked why he said because I was sick. Mmmm, perhaps I chill out more when I’ve had a drink.

I went to a ‘Managing your career’ workshop (through my work) this morning which I found quite interesting. I’m still trying to figure out why I went when I’ve only been in this job for a year and quite enjoy it. My job is a newly created one which I knew I wanted to do before this type of work even existed and now I’ve got it I’m already looking to the next step as I know I don’t want to do it for ever. I like to be challenged in my working life and I like to keep busy and be interested in what I’m doing. I look at the jobs immediately around me and don’t particularly aspire to be my manager or her manager as I don’t particularly want to be a manager as it seems that they just have a lot more stress for not that much reward. I don’t mind responsibility for my work but don’t fancy being a mediator and problem solver for other people’s work problems.

My other dilemma is the work/life balance thing. As I said above I want to be challenged in my work so a mundane job where I learn some tasks and just do them day in and day out is not my thing at all. At least with technology the way it is I’m in a pretty good position not to get stuck doing exactly the same thing all the time because there are continual challenges with learning new technology etc. But to move up the ladder, if I can find a non-managerial job, is quite hard at the moment because very few, if any, of these positions are part-time positions and I don’t want to work full-time.

I think the old or current way of senior staff (or other staff for that matter) needing to be around five days a week or more will have to change as the population generally becomes older or because people will push for a more satisfactory work/life balance. Women as the primary childcare givers will hopefully also drive the push for a work/life balance or more flexibility in their paid working lives which mostly doesn’t exist at present.

I just finished reading an excellent book by Anne Summers called The End of Equality where she talked about the fact that women are not really equal in the workforce because they have children and there’s a lack of enough childcare, and school days and holidays don’t fit in with the work day and holidays. She talks about the Australian government’s push to try and get women to have more children and stay at home to look after them. They’ve done this by changing policies and tax rules so that it’s not financially viable for many women to work. And if you’re a sole parent, then it’s even harder. This is why I don’t fancy working full time as I still have to maintain a job outside of my paid employment in just looking after my son, maintaining a house and everything that goes with those things and this is even before I catch up with my friends and family or find myself a bloke to play around with.

So, what do I want to be when I grow up? I want to have an interesting, challenging, well-paid job but not have the typical manager’s role. Don’t know what that sort of job might be but I have got my thinking cap on.

Well I didn’t get to go out Friday night. Struggled along to my mothers group Friday morning and didn’t really enjoy that, did the grocery shopping and never enjoy that, and then took some videos back and let the dog off the lead at the oval and when I got back I sat down and thought I can’t go out tonight. Bummer!! I don’t get to go out very often without Jaycee Junior as I don’t have the built-in babysitter that two parent families have if one person wants to go out. I hear my friends talk about going to the gym or to yoga or whatever and just envy them. So I went back to the video shop and hired three movies – Dogville (not what I wanted on a feeling sick Friday night), Along Came Polly (a Hollywood load of crap and so predictable) and Shrek (have already seen it at least three times).

Yesterday, though, I took Jaycee Junior to the cinema to the Babes in Arms session to see Shrek 2. He was a bit outraged that it wasn’t Monster Inc even though I’d been saying we were going to see Shrek. I’m outraged that popcorn cost nearly as much as the movie itself and I only bought it to keep the kid entertained. In future I’ll be taking my own popcorn thank you very much. I took my own drinks and had other snacks handy in case he got sick of popcorn. We had to do one quick trip to the loo which I knew would happen but all in all it was an ok experience.

Am not feeling my usual self for the last few days. I decided Monday night that I couldn’t possibly face going to work on Tuesday partly because I actually didn’t feel very well and partly because I needed a mental health day – so I didn’t go to work on Tuesday. It was lovely to go to the library by myself as there’s no point being sick if I’ve nothing to read. I also bought a vanilla slice with fresh cream, then went home and did some knitting while watching Dr Phil and a movie. Pity the olympics are on as that doesn’t particularly interest me. I would have had the Wednesday off too but didn’t want to let my Corporate Cup team down. Am still not feeling the best with a small niggly cough and blocked sinuses. Hope I’ll be feeling ok by Friday night though as I’ve organised babysitting.

My first date from the internet. We’d arranged to meet at a pub then as he’d booked a restaurant for dinner we’d go there even though the internet dating sites recommend a short date for the first one just in case you don’t get along with each other. I walked into the pub and he was standing at a poker machine playing it. Warning signals should have gone off there and then, just because I absolutely hate poker machines. I mentioned before he was different looking than I expected. His photo made him look taller and younger and more dashing as he was obviously younger then and it was taken at an angle looking upwards at him. He also had a pony tail which I’m not really into and he was about as tall as me even though according to our profiles he should be two inches taller than me. I was prepared to look past all of this though, so long as we got along well.

We had a drink at the pub sitting outside as it was January and the weather wasn’t too bad, then we walked over to the restaurant that he’d made a booking at a night or two earlier. We ordered a nice bottle of wine and had that with some yummy food and the conversation flowed pretty freely. Alcohol definitely helps in these situations and because we’d gotten to know each other over the phone for nearly two weeks I felt like we already knew each fairly well. After the beer at the pub and half a bottle of wine at the restaurant I was feeling pretty numb and thought I’d better slow down as I had to drive back to my friends place who was babysitting Jaycee Junior. After the meal we went outside so he could have a cigarette and looking at his face I could tell he was a pretty heavy smoker because he had those smokers lines on his face which prematurely age many people.

We went to pay for the meal and he asked if I minded going dutch which of course I didn’t mind because I didn’t want to feel obligated to him and of course he didn’t have a job so probably couldn’t afford it anyway. We then went back to the pub and had another drink.

I didn’t mention that while we were at the pub prior to the meal he was already asking me if we could meet the next day for a coffee. I was a bit perplexed at this as he had only just met me and who knows what it would be like for the rest of the date. I might be completely different in person! I said that I would have to see about that – I didn’t want to commit.

At the end of the night I could have quite easily had a snog but wasn’t drunk enough to make the first move so we just had a peck on the cheek goodbye. We left it that I would call him in the morning. I got home after midnight.

There’s a part two to this date which I’ll cover next time.

Internet dating – last hoorah (part one)