Posts Tagged school
Written on December 17, 2009 by Jen
Filed Under: Parenting
I had to share this Christmas card from JJ to me. His writing has improved a lot this year but he still needs a bit of work in the spelling area. While I’m mentioning improvements I have to say how overall, he improved in the last school term of the year.
He’d been falling into all his old patterns of naughtiness and detentions at school and it was really driving me and his teachers mad. On the first day of the last term JJ told me he’d been to the principal’s office after a kid’s parents had been to see her about JJ. He also told me that he was going back to see her on the Friday.
I rang the principal the next day to introduce myself and to talk about his behaviour. Even though I’d had numerous chats with his teacher and made it clear that I want to work with the school in regards to JJ this mustn’t have been relayed to the principal because she said she was glad that we’d had our chat and happy that I wanted to work with them to help JJ.
The upshot of the phone call was a meeting with a behaviour management person from the Department of Education, the pastoral care worker from school, a special ed teacher and JJ’s teacher. We sorted out a student development plan for JJ where we came up with three really simple goals that he could achieve quite easily and he would be rated by himself and his teacher three times per day with 1 being not very good and 5 being very good.
The goals (and aims) were: 1. Put up your hand for help (to allow yourself and others to work without distraction), 2. Stay in your seat and on task until you have finished your work (to get more learning done), and 3. Start work when the teacher asks (to get a good start with your learning).
If he got good ‘marks’ then he was able to have a reward and JJ and his teacher came up with a list of rewards like taking his DSi in, extra time on the computer – that sort of thing.
Looking back over the charts he hardly got any 1’s but mainly got 4’s annd 5’s. I bore the brunt of his being good at school because he was tired of that when he got home and we had some doozies of tantrums. I’d been kind of prepared for it though and was willing to go with it if it meant good behaviour at school. I was also pretty sure that it was just an adjustment phase for him and that things would settle down at home too.
During the term we had two or three follow up meetings with Department and the school, and JJ was involved this time too. He admitted that it was a long time to be good for not much time getting rewards, but as we told him the rewards were much more than just a bit of time playing his DSi at school.
And they were. The rewards for him were a boost in self-esteem and no detentions at all in the last term. I spoke to his teacher on the last day of term and she couldn’t say enough great stuff about him. Things like he’d become a role model for the other kids. He’d be first in line or first sitting down when asked to. She said she was going to tell his teacher for next year to not judge JJ on his previous record, but that the slate should be wiped clean and this was a brand new kid going to start grade 3.
Because JJ goes to out of school hours care we had to start something similar there too. At the beginning of the student development plan JJ had had a really good day at school and then at after school care was really really naughty. He’d even said to them that he’d been really good at school and didn’t need to be good afterwards. Needless to say once we started an after school care plan he was absolutely fine!
We’re going to continue the plan at the beginning of the next school year just to reinforce the good work that was done in the last term and fingers crossed it works.
Anyway, back to my Christmas card from JJ.
It says, Dear mum. I love you. You are the best (not beast). It would be cool if we could fly ad look at the rainbow closer – silly. And have a happy Christmas.
Bless him. I’m sure that ‘you are the beast’ is not a Freudian slip!
Written on August 31, 2008 by Jen
Filed Under: Parenting
This photo was taken just over three years ago, making him four years old. It was a lot easier then in a lot of ways. He hadn’t started school!
What is it about school that’s so problematic for him, and consequently for me? What is it about schools that see suspension as the only answer to behavioural problems?
I have so many questions and unfortunately there’s no easy answer. We need time. I need to become more in the school’s face to try and get them to help my boy, not just punish him when things go bad.
I want to work with the school but perhaps it’s better for him to make a fresh start elsewhere? I don’t bloody know!
Written on August 22, 2008 by Jen
Filed Under: Parenting, Photos
‘My little treasure’, I called him as I talked to his after school carer the other day. It had been an interesting day. I’d spoken to the deputy prinicipal earlier that day, as JJ spent most of the day in his office after being really disruptive in the classroom.
A year or so ago I’d have really taken this to heart but now I’m a lot more philosophical about it. The deputy told me that JJ’s really intelligent and he knows what he’s doing when he’s being disruptive like this but he does it anyway. He said that in 25 years time I’d look back and think, ‘gee he was a ratbag at school’. I hope he’s right but I hope it’s sooner than 25 years.
These days I take one day at a time. The day before this phone call JJ won a gold medal at after school care for excellent behaviour and he was the best kid to have around that night. When he’s being really nice to me, and polite it’s almost seems surreal but I do enjoy those moments because they don’t last.
The next morning he was very different and I knew that he’d be in for a bad day at school. Sure enough I was right. But then yesterday he was fine. I could be living in Topsy Turvy land because I don’t know which way it will be at any given time. One way of looking at this is that at least if it is bad at one time, then I know it won’t stay this way.
This is all a huge learning experience for me and I’m sure it’s making me a stronger and better person. Yes it is.
PS: I took the photo above in King’s Park when we had our recent Perth trip. I was standing around admiring the scenery, or sheltering from the rain, or both. JJ had disappeared then he appeared just above me in this tree. Don’t you just love the texture in the tree? I’ve got no idea what type it is but I love it.
Written on March 30, 2008 by Jen
Filed Under: Food and Drink, Parenting
Party food, ie chocolate crackles, and a suspension from school? Let’s see if I can do a neat segue.
My friend’s son had a 5th birthday party yesterday afternoon. The night prior my friend rang to ask me for a chocolate crackles recipe. It so happened that I had all the necessary ingredients as this is something I promised to do with JJ. In a moment of weakness I offered to make them and bring them along with me.
It’s the first time I’ve made them and it was dead easy. The recipe is on the side of the Rice Bubbles packet.
You will need:
- 4 cups Rice Bubbles
- 1 cup icing sugar
- 1 cup desiccated coconut
- 250g Copha
- 3 tbsp cocoa
In a large bowl mix the Rice Bubbles, icing sugar, coconat and cocoa.
S lowly melt the copha in a saucepan over low heat and allow to cool slightly. Add to the rice bubbles mixture, stirring well until combined.
Spoon the mixture into paper patty pans and refrigerate until firm.This will make about 24.
So I made these just before I went to school to pick JJ up. I was sitting outside his classroom when he came back with two other boys and the deputy principal and an envelope in his hand. The other boy said ‘we’ve been suspended’. Apparently there was an incident at lunchtime that involved kicking. I still haven’t got the full story but will find out at the suspension conference early this week.
JJ has had some detentions this year and it seems to boil down to mixing with this kid who gets him into trouble and not knowing how to behave in the playground. He also has trouble making friends at school.
I felt like I was rewarding him by taking him to the party but because it was a good friend’s birthday and we’d promised to go, we went. JJ is without tv and computer for one week and this will be reviewed after a week.
Just when I thought I’d achieved something with JJ’s behaviour this goes and happens. He’s fine (mostly) with me, and friends that had him for a couple of days over Easter noted that he was really good for them. So school, and this other kid, are the common denominator. The school wants to work with us to resolve this so this time I’ll be making sure that this happens.