Tag Archives: JJ

Parenting

Missing my son

March 14, 2009 – 9:18 am

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Just about whenever I go out for the evening I end up talking to whoever will listen about my son. I don’t go out that often without him and you’d think that one night off without all thought of him wouldn’t be that hard but it usually doesn’t happen.

Last night was no different. Let me be clear, I don’t talk about him if the person I’m talking to doesn’t know him but when I’m with friends I haven’t seen for a while, they usually ask how he’s going.

For instance, last night, some friends were there who have a swimming pool. JJ was around there a few weeks ago before I came back from my weekend away, for a swim. He left his thongs (flip flops) there. Apparently he was a good boy and quite entertaining. Yep, that’s him.

Although, let me just talk about a not so good night the other night. Actually there was a bit of build up. Last weekend he had this annoying habit of clinging onto me and hanging off me at the most inopportune times – like when we were queuing up for the toilets at Womadelaide. He’s not a two year old any more. He’s a five foot,  seven year old and weighs about 30kgs so having this heavyweight hanging off me is a bit dangerous for my knees, and bloody annoying. I’d ask him to stop and he wouldn’t, so the other night I got tough with him. Unfortunately we were out to dinner and while he wasn’t just hanging off me he was misbehaving in a public place and I wasn’t going to put up with it. Luckily the place was relatively empty and he spent a lot of the time sitting at a nearby table by himself. My dad ended up eating JJ’s icecream and there was less fuss about that than I thought but when I take food away from JJ he knows I mean business.

But then we were out again the next night and he was a really well behaved angel and has been great since, so the one night of public embarrassment was worth it.

I digress however. JJ over the last few months has grown up and I’ve loved seeing this change in him. Last year was awful at school for all concerned and he was suspended a couple of times and had no friends and generally felt sad and awful. This year, he’s finding his groove. He’s got a couple of good friends and we’re starting the playdate thing. He handles himself well and I’m proud of him for that, and grateful that he’s feeling a bit better about himself.

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I think the fact that he’s playing soccer and wants to play football (the Australian Rules kind) this year will help him. He’s a very active kid and the team sport thing can only be good for him. As much as I dislike this sport and as much as I will dislike my early Saturday lost to getting up early and driving him around for games it will be worth it I think. I’d much rather sacrifice some sleep for a boy who has something to do instead of hanging at home nagging me to play Playstation.

He’s also started going to Scouts and he’s loving that. That will also be great for his self-esteem and good for some male role modelling – I’m hoping.

So when I go out, I often reflect back on how it’s been and how it is for us, and even though I love nights out with my friends, I love seeing my son again in the morning. Cutey pants. Oh, and can you notice one of his baby teeth hanging by a thread?

This post is for Scribbit’s April write-away contest.

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Parenting

A celebration of my son – part 2

March 2, 2009 – 8:15 pm

Here’s part 2 of the photos of my lad in after school care over the last couple of years. Here’s part 1.

Here’s yet another funny face. There’s not many photos at his after school care with a natural expression, except for when he doesn’t know a photo is being taken. Bravado covering up shyness perhaps?

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This is during his swimming. At after school care during the first and last term when it’s warmer, they organise swimming one or two afternoons a week. It’s happening again this term and I was quite shocked when I went to pick him the other day and he hadn’t gone swimming. Mind you, his class also had swimming that day so he’d probably had enough. He was in his bathers though.

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Here he is accentuating his natural hair. They have a dressup box. I caught him wearing a very groovy hat the other day.

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During vacation care the kids go out on excursions. Bowling is one of JJ’s favourite things to do, along with making a funny face.

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That’s it for now, until I get another CD of photos from after school care.

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Parenting

A celebration of my son – part 1

February 27, 2009 – 5:40 pm

Last year some time I received a bunch of photos on CD of JJ at after school care. While cleaning up recently I came across it and thought I’d share. He has some gorgeous facial expressions.

Last night he was feeling particularly down and saying that everyone except me hates him. At least he knows I don’t hate him as he’s thought and said that in the past although deep down I’m sure he knows it’s not the case.

Anyway, these photos are from 2007 and 2008. They’re not in any particular order.

One thing I did today which I’ve been putting off for far far too long is take a DVD of photos along to the photo shop to get printed. I had this CD and the DVD I made, a total of nearly 2,500 photos. I was there for quite some time going through photos and deciding, or not, whether to get them printed.

The plan is for JJ to make a scrapbook celebrating his life, his achievements, his friends, etc etc. The idea is so that he can look at it when he’s feeling particularly down and hopefully bring himself back up again.

Looking through 2,500 photos in a short space of time made me smile. I think my lad’s very cute now but he was super cute when younger too because of his toddler chubby cheeks.

Anyway, back to the photos from after school care.

He made this mask himself and it’s probably still kicking around somewhere. I’ve made a date with him for next Friday to really tidy up his room. It’s something I’ve been putting off for far too long.

Wearing a mask

Wearing a necklace he made. I think this might be the one he ended up giving to me. I must wear it more often.

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Face painting – a pirate – aaarrrggghhhhh!

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After school care has a quiet room. It’s mostly pretty quiet and sometimes I find JJ in there, usually playing a quiet game with other kids or hiding under bean bags. I don’t think I’ve ever found him in there reading a book but obviously he does sometimes.

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Here’s funny face number 1 of 200 (slight exaggeration).

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As there are a few more photos I thought I’d spread them out over two posts. Stay tuned.

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Parenting

The tooth fairy

February 25, 2009 – 11:57 am

Pocket to hold teeth
Creative Commons License photo credit: Sappymoosetree

JJ has now lost his third tooth (23 Feb for the record). It was three and a half months since he lost his first tooth, and may I say I don’t like the tooth dangling by the merest thread. It makes me just want to pull it out and I get really sick of it being played with when he’s right next to me.

So his third tooth was pulled out just before school the other morning and we stuck it to a piece of paper so it wouldn’t get lost. This piece of paper went under JJ’s pillow that night with two questions JJ wrote on it. One – ‘Are you a girl or a boy?’, and two, ‘What do you like doing?’. I blame Santa for setting a precedent on writing JJ a note – damn Santa.

At 6.30 the next morning JJ trotted to my room and very forlornly informed me that the tooth fairy hadn’t come. Damnit I muttered to myself, I bloody forgot. And to my son I said, ‘Don’t worry about it, the tooth fairy was probably really busy but I’ll bet they come tonight.’

Last night after he went to sleep I snuck in and pulled out the note from under his pillow but the tooth was missing. I hoped it had just fallen out and onto the floor but I had a bit of a look around to make sure it wasn’t on the little table next to his bed. I couldn’t find it. I put some lipstick on and kissed the note and put $1 into the note and put it all back under his pillow. Luckily he’s a very deep sleeper. All done I thought with satisfaction.

This morning as I walked past his room he said, ‘Mum, have a look at the note, and the tooth fairy didn’t leave any money or take the tooth.’ Shit and blast I thought, he had moved that tooth after all.

I walked in. There was lipstick on the note and he’d had the tooth wrapped up in a tissue next to his bed. I stealthily took the tooth and I hope I haven’t messed with his head too much as to why the tooth was there one minute and not there the next. And of course I couldn’t say I put $1 with the note. I know I did it, I know it. There was $1 sitting on the little table next to his bed and I told him that was it.

He kept going on and on about the missing money, the lipstick on the note and the missing tooth. I felt really bad but there was nothing I could do to turn back time and make it all go more smoothly.

Oh, and to top it all off, after our walk this morning JJ told me he thought he had nits. He’s had them once before. I got the phone call from the school and when I picked him up it was so obvious he was infested. This time, it looked like he might have nits – I wasn’t absolutely sure but I didn’t want to send him to school before doing something about it. I got the special conditioner and used the nit comb through his hair just in case. It made us late and I get stressed and start getting louder when I’m stressed. As JJ informed me we were only late because of the nits, it wasn’t worth yelling. Yes, adult child, you’re right of course.

I have a spray bottle of tea tree oil mixed with water which is supposed to help ward off these little critters but it’s only effective if it’s used. Use it more I will now. Oh, and when I get home I’ve got washing to do. Oh what joy.

Have you had the joy of nits in your household. If so, how do you deal with it?

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Parenting

I believe

January 22, 2009 – 8:28 pm

Recently JJ and I watched Kung Fu Panda together. The main premise of the movie is that a Panda is destined to become the dragon warrior but initially neither he nor his master believes it will ever happen. During the course of the movie they both start believing it, and in the end it does happen.

While this was going on I asked JJ what he believed in. He said that he believes ‘D’ is his best friend. Not quite the philosophical answer I was after but I told him that’s great and that he’s lucky to have this best friend.

While he got back to watching the movie I got to thinking about what do I believe in and I had an epiphany. I finally realised that I believe I am a good parent and that I will raise JJ to be a functioning and happy human being. We certainly have hiccups along the way and there’s things I know I could do better but it’s all a learning experience for me. And don’t you worry, he tells me when he’s not happy with something I’ve done. Sometimes he’s quite right because I’m getting uptight about something that’s not worth getting uptight about. Other times he’s not so right and I’m doing a necessary parental discipline thing.

I also believe that I believe in my son and I believe that he will be able to do whatever he wants in life. I so want to be able to get this message across to him. I have a couple of friends who are quite confident and are both doing well in their lives. They come across as happy, and good things happen to them. The common factor with them is that their parents bestowed this ‘you can do whatever you put your mind to’ upon them and believed in them and were there for them.

But back to the believing in my parenting. I’d never thought about it like this before. I seem to get stuck on the fact that parenting is a damn hard slog and I hope we come out all right at the other end while focusing more on the negative aspects rather than the positive. Now I believe that I am doing a good job and I am seeing the results of that, especially in the last few months.

Is it just a mind over matter thing and a matter of determination that believing I am a good parent will make it so? Perhaps it’s not as easy as this.

There are some things to remember, and do, to build self-confidence in my child along the way as pointed out in this article. There will be more hiccups along the way no doubt. School starts back next week and I’ll need to be very attentive during the beginning of term as that’s when JJ gets anxious because it will be all new again but I’m confident this year at school for him will be a lot better than it’s been so far.

The image at the top was taken at vacation care mid last year.

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Parenting Travel

Water bunny

January 20, 2009 – 9:04 am

During our mini-holiday at the end of the larger not at work holiday we went to Carrickalinga and stayed not very far from the beach. The first couple of days we were there it was a bit windy and cool and not really conducive to going in the water, not for me anyway.

That didn’t stop my son, however, as he was in every day. The day I took the photos below, was a bit warmer and I took them before I finally went for a swim myself.

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He borrowed a friend’s boogie board. I must get his own as he really enjoys using them and this time he stayed out there for a bit.

There were a group of other kids not too far away and maybe he was copying what they were doing but I admired his patience. I can just see him looking for a bit of a wave.

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As you can see the waves weren’t very big but at least I don’t panic when they are only this big. He doesn’t mind the bigger waves though and knows how to handle them.

When I went in I took my friend’s daughter who’s nowhere near as confident in the water and was very wary of the waves. I showed her what to do and she ducked down for two of the waves and was very proud of herself. Hopefully that will give her the boost she needs for next time.

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Journal

Here’s for a divine 2009

January 5, 2009 – 2:51 pm

After my last post I’m happy to report that my down in the dumps feeling didn’t last too long. Christmas day came and went and it was quite pleasant. The whole family came to my place (except for niece and nephews who spent the day with their father) and we ate, talked and played Eye Toy on the Playstation.

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Apart from ants invading my cut up roast chicken (fortunately it could be saved) the day could be classified as a success.

Since then I’ve been away for three days visiting friends and family. I caught up with an old school friend I haven’t seen for 25 years. It seems like such a long time when I consider that some people I know are this age.

I became an expert at making strawberry daiquiris and substituted strawberries for mango for one round which was also very delicious. I can also say that I’m having some alcohol free days because I’ve consistently been drinking and it makes for a much clearer head.

By the time New Year’s Eve came around I was really tired and compounded this by going to a friends place in the afternoon for a catchup, dinner, and then driving down the hill to the other party I was invited to. It was really good timing because fireworks were happening at Brighton and I wish I’d pulled over and whipped out my camera. I didn’t pull over and I didn’t have my camera so I don’t have any beautiful fireworks photos.

I walked into a room full of teenagers at the next party and I now know what I’m up for in eight or so years time if I drag my son along to a party in town. He’ll just want to go to Glenelg to run amok with his friends and he’ll nag and nag me until we fight about it. This is what I witnessed happening with the teenagers at this party. Some were allowed to go to Glenelg for various reasons and the others weren’t for various reasons. JJ was really well behaved with his young friends and was safely tucked upstairs watching The Incredibles when midnight struck. I wish he’d crashed out like his two mates but he was sitting with his eyes glued to the screen. It was a good excuse for me to leave after the inevitable anti-climax at midnight.

I couldn’t drag myself out of bed until 10.30 the next morning and I can’t even blame a hangover as I’d driven the night before and drunk very little.

I’ve had another little trip out of town which I’ll blog about later and now JJ is doing Vacswim. I used to do vacswim when I was a kid and it lasted for two whole weeks. Now it’s on for seven days, not ten which is short-changing our kids. At least I got in early this year and pre-enroled which meant that I got in at an early time. Last year we couldn’t get in until an 11am session which really ate into the day, but this morning we were home by around 11. We will be using the extra days where he doesn’t have to go to vacswim to go away to the coast for a few days before I have to go back to work.

I’ve also been tidying out cupboards. This is something I really ought to do more often. I cleaned out a pantry shelf that hasn’t been touched since I moved in ten years ago and there was so much stuff that was out of date it’s embarrassing to write about it. I’ve never lived in one place for such a long time since I was a kid so moving fairly constantly meant I would clean up every time I moved. Now that I’m staying put for a while means I have to just clean up, throw things away and put things back in their spot.

One thing I did find was my son’s other grandmother’s address. She lives in London and I’ve never met her but JJ’s father gave it to me a while back and when I tried to find it last year I couldn’t and thought I’d lost it forever. When I did one of my cupboard cleanouts I found it.

I want to send a couple of photos and a short letter to him via her address just to say that he’s growing up very nicely thank you and I’d like his contact details just so we have them on hand if JJ wants to contact him. What do you think? I don’t feel a pressing need to talk to him, I just want JJ to be able to contact him and perhaps meet him one day when he’s ready.

I’ve been reading about others’ grand plans for 2009 and I can’t say I’ve really got any. I’ve got some vague ideas, one of which I’ll be chatting to some friends about tonight, but nothing definite.

Other than that I want to do short trips away with JJ, and perhaps the dog. I’ve never been on the Great Ocean Road and this could be a good thing to do in the next lot of school holidays. Now that I’m nearly eligible to accrue 15 days a year long service leave, this gives me two extra weeks a year’s leave I can use toward doing things like this. Mmmmm.

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