The small rewards help – a lot

Fun at the beach. Day 16/366.

As any parent knows, parenting is hard – really hard sometimes.

There’s moments when you can’t say anything right and your child goes off at you for not understanding him. And this is a pre-adolescent. God help me when he’s actually an adolescent.

You just want to laugh at how ridiculous they’re being but you can’t because that sets them off even more. So you just take in deep breaths and try to act calmly because you know that if you get hysterical like they’re being, then things really will spiral out of control.

He comes to talk to you in a little moment of calmness and you say the wrong thing again. Out he storms, bangs the door and things are back to yuck.

You just remind yourself that parenting is bloody hard, continue on with getting dinner ready and reward yourself with some alcohol while preparing dinner. And you know that they will eventually go to bed although because it’s so damn hot it will take a while for them to actually go to sleep and you hope like hell that this doesn’t make them even grumpier the next evening.

It’s like treading a very fine line. You wonder if that class you started on a Tuesday night is pushing things when you realise that he starts back at school next week and he’ll have his Wednesday evening commitments as well. That’s two nights out of the week gone and this doesn’t even include sport and social stuff.

Oh well. You brush that aside and decide to deal with that when and if the shit hits the fan.

But then there’s moments like this and you realise that there might be some light at the end of the tunnel after all.

You’re at the beach and you’ve had a swim and you’re lying on the towel relaxing. You watch your offspring in the water having a great time and your friend calls him a dolphin because he loves the water so much.

Then he decides to get out of the water  and gets you to help him spread out his towel next to you. He lies down next to you and says that this is the first time ever that he’s come out of the water and just relaxed on his towel instead of running around like a moron (his word).

You realise that he is gradually growing up and observing his own behaviour and that all that work you’ve done as a parent is maybe working after all.

You enjoy this moment while you can because you know it might be fleeting. And sure enough it is. You’re soon being annoyed by the previously calm child as he hops around on your towel with sandy feet and dripping wet body and ignoring your requests for him to move.

His first piano concert

At the piano concert

JJ’s been learning to play piano for half a year now and his teacher organised the obligatory end of year concert for her students.

I’ve been to primary school aged piano concerts before and they’re usually as boring as all get-out until your child plays in one, then you’re all excited to go.

Well I was.

He’s always been very self-conscious about being required to perform in public even though he’s taken part in various school concerts and events. I thought he might like to join the choir but he was too embarrassed.

So when he told me about the piano concert he said he didn’t want to play because he thought it was going to be in front of the whole school. However, he found out it was only going to be for the piano students and their families so he ummed and aaahed over it for a while.

It wasn’t until the day before the concert that I got a text from his teacher saying that he would perform. I was really excited because I knew this was a big step for him.

A friend (shown above) was somehow allowed to come which was only annoying because they kept talking to each other despite me telling them to be quiet more than once, twice etc!

First piano concert

His teacher accompanied him and he did stuff up at the beginning and do a bit of a giggle but he pulled himself together and played his one short piece.

He won’t let me publish the video I took. I will keep it and show it to him in a year or so to show him the difference. And it will be good fodder to drag out for anyone who cares when he’s a well-known musician.

I was really proud of him, and of all the other kids who got up and had a go, two of whom played original pieces.

Oldest versus the youngest

Climbing wood piles. Day 317/365.

Thursday, 6 October 2011, Day 317/365.

I had last week off during the school holidays (the day that this photo was taken). I caught up with a friend who only lives half an hour away but because of our various commitments we hadn’t seen each other for nine months – yes nine months.

It was lovely to catch up with her and her three boys. My boy had a great time with them. He also had a great time watching them argue and fight with each other.

Why do older siblings pick on younger ones? It’s an age old thing I guess. I’m the older sibling and I used to pick on my youngest sister (I’m one of three girls). I suppose it gave me a sense of power in my otherwise fairly powerless world.

I hated it as the oldest one that I couldn’t get a way with anything because I SHOULD KNOW BETTER. I always thought my youngest sister was very spoiled and she probably got away with a lot more than I did because I’d paved the way and did the hard yards.

My other sister and I did exclude her from playing with us – our revenge at our perception of how spoiled we thought she was. Every time we used to visit friends of mum and dads, mum always said to us not to pick on the youngest. Yeah right!

What did I get as the oldest? I got a room to myself. That was pretty good. The other two didn’t like sharing with each other and I gloated about it a bit. I had more photos taken of me as a baby. There’s hardly any of my youngest sister. I got to be the only child for two years without anyone else although I was too young to know any better. There were probably other perks but I can’t remember them.

Now that we’re grown up I get along with her very well and don’t pick on her at all but I still think she was spoiled.

Did you experience sibling rivalry? What’s your story?

Shapes

Lots of straight lines make some curves. Day 303/365.
Thursday, 22 September 2011, Day 303/365.

Remember doing one of these at school? I kind of vaguely do.

There’s probably a proper name for it. I’ve no idea what it is, but I like the effect that the straight lines make.

It was my son’s homework one night and I think he enjoyed doing it.

That’s entertainment

Some balloon fun.  Day 276/365.

Friday, 26 August 2011, Day 276/365.

For hours of fun all you need is a packet of balloons and some water.

You fill up a balloon with water and then hop on the trampoline with it and bounce the balloon filled with water around. If you’ve got some mates to play with you can roll it to each other or even gently throw it to each other. It might break but that doesn’t matter. You just get another balloon.

You might also want to lift up the balloon filled water and smash it down on the ground so it pops and water splatters everywhere.

If you do this, however, make sure the photographer isn’t too close because the photographer and her camera might get wet.

Homework in primary school

Homework. Day 273/365.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011, Day 273/365.

I don’t remember having that much homework to do in primary school. Have I just blotted it from my memory? I know we had some bits and pieces to do but I don’t remember having to do that much.

My son just about always has something to do and the end of the day after we get home is the worst time for him to have work to do.

I wish they’d make him do it after school care but it’s probably good that it stays a fun place to be rather than a place that he has to do his work.

He’s tired by the time we get home from after school care and work and of course I have a multitude of things to do. And these are the nights when we don’t have other commitments like cub scouts or something else.

Somehow it mostly ends up being done but I don’t stress about it. Hopefully it’s teaching him some good habits for when he really will have to knuckle down and do some study later on in his schooling life.

No sense no feeling?

Swimming on a winter's day. Day 271/365.

Sunday, 21 August 2011, Day 271/365.

We’ve been having some lovely weather here considering it’s the tail end of winter. I remember August as still being fairly cold but it’s been more like spring weather.

This has meant good walking weather along the beach and it’s meant I’ve dug out my thongs (flip-flops) to wear instead of shoes.

However, JJ decided to wear boardshorts and get into the water last weekend. I couldn’t believe that he immersed himself and went swimming. He didn’t even have a towel to dry off but then because the sun was shining and because he was constantly moving he didn’t really need a towel.

Near where The Surfer lives, the Onkaparinga River goes out into the sea and when the tide is going out it means there’s a great current in the river so the water moves you along – a bit like the lazy river in Waterbom Park in Kuta. JJ did this at least twice and he stated more than once that the water was warm. Rubbish.

I enjoyed watching him splash about and have a great time though.