On Friday morning I heard him get up, go to the toilet and go back to bed. I lay in bed for a bit and then yelled out ‘Good morning birthday boy’. He came into my room and when I asked why he hadn’t come in earlier he said that he didn’t want to wake me. It doesn’t bother him most other mornings and his birthday is one of the rare days in the year that I don’t mind if he does wake me.

I gave him his presents and he read the card first.

He then opened the main present.

He then realised what it was. He’s been hassling me for a Nintendo DS for ages and I finally caved in. I even bought the DSi.

He opened the second part of the present which included a game.

And before too long he was occupied playing it. I realise that now that he’s got a DSi he’ll be hassling me to play it all the time. It’s not one of those things that he can have whenever he wants and so far I think he accepts that. He asked me today if we can take it away with us, and of course we will be.

Just a small technical note about the DSi. It accepts an SD card so you can store music and photos on it. I would have expected that you could put the SD card into the slot and it would be recognised straight away like in a camera but this isn’t the case. You have to connect to the internet before the DSi will recognise it. I’m fairly technically savvy but I had a bitch of a time trying to connect it to the internet using my wi-fi broadband at home.

I’ve got my security setup with WPA and the default for the DSi is WEP - ie two different kinds of security. The documentation I found said that you could setup the internet with WAP security but damned if I could find it. The manual didn’t mention anything that I could find and then I finally (after nearly two hours) found that if you used connections 4-6 on the DSi you could select more than just WEP security. Finally I connected to the internet which I hadn’t really wanted to do anyway. I just wanted the thing to read the SD card.

My lost two hours could have been much better spent organising the birthday party for the Sunday. JJ hasn’t had a birthday party since his fifth birthday and that was a huge one number wise but this one felt more stressful - probably because it was at home and probably because I wasn’t quite sure how I would entertain these children for two hours.

Nearly half an hour after they arrived I was still the only adult there and I was starting to freak out. My friends were supposed to be there for two o’clock and they were seriously late. One of the fathers offered to stay but he had to go on a quick errand before he came back. By the time he did come back my other friends had arrived but he still stayed.

We started off with Pass the Parcel which was surprisingly hard work. The kids (five boys) were really over-excited and very hard to control. It was JJ times five. Note Monty in prime patting position!

We then did musical statues outside which was great to get rid of some of that energy.

I found a game called Mummy Wrap on the internet and I really didn’t hold out much hope for this game because it required standing still. The boys paired up and had to wrap each other like a mummy.

To their credit they all did a really good job with a bit of help from some adults.

Here’s one nearly completed.

Here’s me directing some toilet paper pickup after the first round. The toilet paper I got came apart quite easily so it was a little bit hard not to rip it.

They then swapped and we judged the best wrapper, although they nearly all won a prize.

To get the toilet paper off they had to do star jumps.

And then wrestle each other to the ground.

After some food, some more jumping on the trampoline it was time for the birthday cake. JJ wanted me to make my cheesecake (the Superb Cheesecake from the Quick and Thrifty Readers Digest recipe book). I bought some Smarties so the boys could decorate their piece.

And then they all left and I sat down and breathed a big sigh of relief. It was all worth it though because JJ had a great time and I’m pretty sure his guests had a great time too.

Thank goodness for being able to ’sleep on it’. What fabulous perspective a night can bring.

Yesterday I was the devil mother. Everything my son did was wrong and whenever he did anything wrong in my eyes I told him off. Therefore yesterday I constantly told him off and I even raised my voice more than once.

Yesterday evening saw me wound up so tight that I paced up and down the path near the side of my house because I couldn’t leave him alone in the house while I went for a walk.

My behaviour as a parent was woeful and I know it.

Fortunately not long after I finished pacing outside the house, I dropped him off at the babysitters and went to a party. If not, it would have been an early night for him. I had a fabulous time at the party catching up with some friends I don’t see that often, drinking slightly too much and dancing just the right amount. As I said to JJ today I even told some friends I know I behaved abominably as a parent. He was surprised that I told them it was me who misbehaved and not him. Don’t worry, he was no angel yesterday but it’s no excuse.

Even though I didn’t get that much sleep last night today is a new day and it’s a lot better as I knew it would be. It seems that nearly every time I take my eye off the ball as a parent, I drop it. My eye’s back on the ball and I’ve remembered some of the things the psychologist said when we were seeing her last year.

I’ve come to the conclusion that kids are smarter than us poor, unsuspecting adults, and if we let them they’ll run rings around us and sometimes do.

What do you do when your kid/s is driving you round the bend and you can’t leave them to get a bit of perspective? Do you turn into the mother from hell, or do you have a foolproof, failsafe method of not letting that happen? Just so you know, I don’t always turn into the mother from hell. I usually handle it. What I’ve described above is reasonably rare.

Last year was a tough year for my son and I in regards to his behaviour at school. We pretty much sorted it out but I’ve been conscious that things might arise again.

They have - sort of.

In the last few weeks JJ has had two time-out slips from school. A kid gets a time-out or a detention slip for all sorts of reasons including violence towards other kids.

The first one a few weeks ago said that he’d kicked someone in the shins and then when this kid fell on the ground he stomped on their back. I was pretty horrified but I kept my cool. When I questioned him about it the full story came out. A bit of background. JJ is pretty tall for his age and he towers over most kids in his class except for the one he kicked.

But, the full story. This kid had wanted JJ to join his ‘club’ but JJ didn’t want to. This kid swung JJ by the arm into a tree and kicked in the balls (JJ’s words). That’s when JJ kicked him back but he never stomped on his back.

I wrote this down on the time-out slip and sent it to school with JJ. JJ was really pleased that I believed him and that I was doing something about it which made me feel a bit mean because in the past I haven’t always believed him. That’s what happens when you occasionally do lie to your mum!

The upshot was that this kid also got a detention.

So, on to a more recent incident. The time-out slip said that JJ kicked another kid in the shins (kicking in the shins is popular) and it wasn’t the first time with this kid. We sat down for half an hour and quite a different story emerged. I won’t bore you with all the details but JJ promised that he didn’t kick this kid in the shins but this kid had hassled him and when JJ went away and told two teachers - they both said to ignore him. By the way, this kid does Scouts with JJ and I witnessed him kicking JJ for which I told him off.

I spoke to the teacher yesterday and explained to her what JJ had told me. All the versions differed which is what happens in any account of anything. I also explained that JJ feels lonely at lunch time and consequently has nothing to do. Unfortunately he attracts kids and vice-versa that are trouble when they mix.

His teacher was really good and has made some suggestions for lunchtime activities for him. She’s also going to get the pastoral care worker to come in and do some work with him and others. I also mentioned that JJ had gone up to two different teachers and being told to ignore the person that’s hassling him obviously doesn’t work. I suggested that the yard duty teacher direct him to do something as a distraction. I don’t know if this will happen and if it it happens whether it will work or not.

It’s small small steps with this school yard politics but he’s getting there slowly.

In the meantime his birthday party invitations have been distributed. I’m a bit worried that only a couple of the six boys JJ’s invited will be able/want to come. Apparently one (the ball kicker above) said that he probably wouldn’t come because his dad thought JJ was mean. I’m sure his dad didn’t say that so it will be interesting to see if he does come or not. And I thought I knew some bitches.

We’ve planned the games, and the birthday cake so hopefully the weather’s kind.

If it’s all too much at least we’ll be going to Queensland a week later to recover. If any of you live around the Gold Coast, northern NSW we’ll be there early July for a week or so. We could do a bloggy catchup perhaps?

I recently won a copy from Single Mom Seeking of ‘Accidentally on Purpose: The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother‘ by Mary F Pols.

I liked the first part of the book title - ‘Accidentally on Purpose’ because I can kind of relate to it, but the second part ‘The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother’ really made me think. Am I, a single mother, happy? Can any single mother be happy?

Most of the time I’m happy, or I think I am, and I wonder how other single parents feel? I know a few of them but I’ve never asked them directly if they’re happy or not. I also know that every single parent’s circumstances are quite different and if you’re escaping from an abusive relationship and are living in poverty then it’s unlikely that you’ll be that happy.

I was curious to know what made Mary happy as a single mother. A bit of background: Mary became pregnant after a one night stand at age 39 and decided to keep the baby. She told the baby’s father and she was very lucky that he wanted to be involved. It wasn’t that simple of course, but generally it’s worked out pretty well for her.

Unlike Mary’s situation, my son’s father is not involved with him. He lives in a different country and I’ve lost touch with him. You can read more about about meeting JJ’s father (on Ourstory.com), when I found out I was pregnant, and what it felt like to be pregant while single.

During those early days when I was pregnant and a new mum I don’t think I was that happy. I was stressed. I really missed adult company - especially when I wasn’t working. Now I’m much more at ease being a single mum but I still look at my son in wonder sometimes because I can’t quite believe that he’s mine. It’s a weird feeling when I remember that I’m a mum and that I’m responsible for another human being’s wellbeing.

So now I am more at ease with being a mum and with my situation I am pretty content. When I do feel a bit down I look at the good things in my life - my son and I are healthy, I’ve got a job, we’ve got a pretty good social life and a good network of friends and family, and I’m buying my own house with a manageable mortgage.A good state of mind is so important and quite vital in the happiness stakes.

I could have it so much worse.

So to you single mums, or single dads, are you happy? If you’re not a single parent I’m sure you know some. Are they happy?

This morning we watched a funny video of a fairly well known internet dog. JJ thought it was hilarious and of course wanted to watch it again.

While he watched it again I filmed him (he said he’d do anything to watch it again). Please note my very tidy kitchen table! It’s Friday morning here and by Friday’s my kitchen table is a mess from all the stuff it collects during the week.

And I don’t know where he learned to burp like that.

JJ has been going along to Cub Scout meetings for quite a few weeks now. I’ve bought him the uniform and because he’s been going long enough it was time for him to be invested into the Scouts the other night, along with ten others.

He nearly didn’t get to go because there was a major meltdown here between him and I and he wouldn’t have gone if it wasn’t for this investment thing. He is on less Playstation and TV privileges this weekend, especially after being a bit naughty at school today but that’s another story.

We turned up to Scouts minus his Scout hat - oops - and the ceremony began. To be honest I can’t remember the whole order but I do know I have a bundle of badges to sew on his shirt.

His smile in the photo below says it all about how proud he is of himself at this point.

That’s it now. He’s got the badges and the certificate and there may as well been a ceremony for the new parents too to pledge allegiance to help out on bottle drives, scout camps and goodness knows what else. Guess what we’re doing Sunday? Driving around the neighbourhood getting the 10c recyclable bottles off whoever wants to give them to the Scouts. I hope it’s not raining.

He actually posed for me in this photo. That’s not always easy these days.

At least by the end of the night our argument was pretty much forgotten and we’d both moved on and the next day was a whole lot better. Thank goodness for nights and sleeping on things.

We got up early on Mother’s Day so we could participate in the Mother’s Day Classic - a walk or run to raise money for breast cancer research.

So while I would have liked to sleep in and be lady muck for just a little while it didn’t happen.

Instead we dressed in pink t-shirts (much to my son’s disgust) and met the others for the walk (the 7.2km walk). It was hard to try and get this photo. See the look of resignation on his face.

One kilometre into the walk he decided that it was all just too much and he couldn’t carry on. Yes you can I said and pulled out the pack of biscuits to divert his attention for a bit. It seemed to work and on we went.

Near the Adelaide Zoo there was a bit of a holdup and this little fella was the reason why. We couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t fast asleep somewhere as he’s a night boy and JJ spent quite a while telling me how strange this possum was.

As we’d crossed the halfway mark he was quite willing to pose for photos now thank you.

And here he is at the finish line. I was really proud of him for finishing the walk and not complaining too much at all. I’d been quite prepared to cut it short if need be. In fact he did quite a bit more because he’d run on ahead and then come back to me.

On the way home he informed  me he’d conquered a fear that morning. When I asked him what it was he said he’d conquered his fear of wearing pink and he stayed in his pink t-shirt all day.

We bought fish and chips on the way home for lunch and had a fairly relaxing afternoon pottering around doing some jobs and watching a Marilyn Monroe movie (not a great one).

Luckily we didn’t decide to go to the Zoo because an orangutan escaped her area and they had to evacuate the whole place.

Oh, and I’d got my mother’s day card and little pressie on Friday after school. He obviously couldn’t wait and I couldn’t make him wait.

If you’re a mum I hope you had a great day.