Semantically driven

I read A very blended family post about getting teens to clean and I was going to leave a comment but realised it would be too long, so I’m writing here about it.

When I grew up with my two sisters we always had chores to do so it’s been ingrained in me that that’s what you do.

I didn’t really get pocket money until the last couple of years of high school and that money had to last me – I think it was $20 per month. Don’t forget we’re talking some years ago now. It wasn’t much for what it was expected to be spent on so I also learned to be frugal which isn’t a bad thing.

Then  I had my own child and have had to make up my own rules about what he does around the house, and what compensation will be awarded – if any.

He’s nearly 12 and this is what I expect from him and what I give him.

I put $10 per week into his bank account which he can’t touch. He knows about it and I’ve said that this money might help him buy a car some day.

He has certain chores to do around the house like keeping his room tidy, filling up the water container as we filter our drinking water. He cleans the bathroom sink when I ask him to – about once a week. He’s responsible for doing the recycling and part of this is that he separates the 10c containers and he gets to keep the money from that for his spending money on items that I won’t buy for him. There’s sometimes additional jobs on top of these like vacuuming or sweeping.

If he doesn’t do his jobs then he loses privileges like watching television or playing video games or going on the computer. That’s his currency and as mentioned in the A very blended family post I linked to above, finding your kid’s currency is a good tool to have in the parenting arsenal.

He notices when kids he knows don’t do jobs around the house and he’s admitted to me that he’s better off having to do these things around the house so he can contribute and so that he knows what to do once he’s out on his own. Parenting win right there!

The photo at the top is an old one. I can tell because I’ve had the flooring replaced – it’s ripped here, and Monty is no longer with us. Towards the end she didn’t get the hint that when I was vacuuming and mopping that she was supposed to go outside and wait.

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I went away over the weekend. It is an annual get-together with a bunch of girlfriends and this year was our 9th year. It’s a two-nighter but not everybody goes for the two nights so Friday night was fairly quiet with only eight of us. Saturday night was somewhat busier with ten new arrivals to make a total of 18.

I find these weekends to be really good for the soul as there are no men and no children to contend with. We’ve all known each other for a reasonable amount of time and there’s  a huge level of trust amongst us that the Park Ranger noticed and mentioned when he and his colleague came to check us out.

We camped, hence the appearance of the Park Ranger, and there are camping fees involved which I guess was his excuse for intruding.

During our nine years doing this we encounter people – usually men – who don’t quite understand the concept of a largish group of women away without their menfolk and children. They always want to know how we met and why we are there.

We’re usually polite but don’t encourage them to hang around because our circle of women is broken by these intruders.

Normally we go to the same camping ground and it’s a beautiful, sheltered spot where as soon as you arrive you just forget about the life you’ve momentarily left behind.

For the last two years we’ve our getaway has managed to coincide with buck’s weekends (or men’s weekend trips). Last year’s group didn’t really intrude but this year the ‘buck’ came over more than once to find out what we were up to. I think his party must have been a bit boring, or he was looking for some female action (or cougars as my mum nicely mentioned) before he gets married.

I wish the two nights was longer as I’m just settling in by the second day and have to pack up to go home, but it’s a really fun weekend full of chatting to good friends and laughing. So much laughing.

As I said, good for the soul.

And then, back to reality.

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I left for work this morning and my dog wasn’t waiting at the gate watching me go and making me feel guilty for leaving her at home by herself.

When  I get home from work she won’t be there waiting for me either. Her internal clock was really good at knowing roughly when I’d be getting home especially during the last few years of her life when she couldn’t hear the door to the house open, or the car turn into the driveway.

We had the day off school and work yesterday. I’m glad, as my eyes were so puffy from crying the day before that I’m sure I looked a bit funny.

So many of my friends knew and loved Monty so I think I’ve let everyone know that she’s gone now.

I vacuumed and mopped but I know that I’ll still find bits and pieces of her fur around the place for a while to come – especially outside. And I won’t need to sweep the back room and kitchen quite so often.

I emptied the dog bowls as there’s no point in having water sitting there attracting mosquitos. The bird bath will still get its water and if any dogs come over for a visit their mum or dad will need to put some water out for them.

I put Monty’s bed outside on top of the shed as it took up a lot of room in the back room. It can come back down when we get another dog.

JJ was a lot better yesterday. He hardly cried at all. He still misses his ‘Queen of Love’ though.

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