The kid

Today is a pupil free day which means of course that it’s not child free for me. It happens to be the one day during the working week that I don’t go to my paid job so I’ve got JJ at home with me this morning.

He’s been showing me the sort of behaviour that his after school carer has been experiencing – cheeky (not a nice cheeky), answering back, and generally not listening when asked to do or stop something.

At the supermarket apart from having a dummy spit because I wouldn’t buy him something he actually wasn’t too bad. I just switched off at this stage and ignored all the behaviour I didn’t like and found him sulking around corners.

At the checkout he was chatting to one of the girls we see fairly regularly there. He told her all about how naughty he’s been. I said, tell her what you missed out on doing today because you’ve been naughty this week. He proceeded to tell her and everyone else in the checkout queues who was around because he hasn’t got a quiet voice, that he missed out on seeing Santa at the Magic Cave this week because of his behaviour at after school care.

He knows he’s being naughty but is almost quite proud of it. I don’t know if it’s sinking in that he’s missing out on stuff he really wants to do because of his behaviour.

It’s a long – hard road.

Christmas pageant

Yesterday we got up quite early to go into town to see the annual Christmas pageant. The people we ended up sitting with (friends of friends) got there at 6am to get a prime spot. I found it hard enough getting up at 6.30am to have breakfast and get in there. By the time we got in at 7.30 the streets were packed with people waiting for a 10am kickoff.

It’s the first pageant I’ve gone along to since I was a kid myself and therefore the first time JJ has been. He really enjoyed it and kept asking when Santa was going to come along.

Halfway through the pageant he turned around and told me he really needed to go to the toilet. I told him that if we left we’d never make it back and he’d miss Santa. He managed to hold on until after the end.

We went back to a friend’s place afterwards and ended up staying there for the rest of the day. It was great fun – even for me.

The hardest job I ever had, by far (part 2)

In part 1 I touched briefly on JJ being a bit of a ratbag at school and at after school care. The good news is he’s pretty much settled in at school and I’ve been getting good feedback about him getting along with other kids.

After school care is another matter though. Things are not improving there at all. It’s again at the stage where I dread walking through the door to pick him up. It’s now got to the stage where he might not be able to go there any more.

He’s being rude to his carer, answering her back, not listening to her and generally giving her a hard time. She obviously isn’t able to take the hard line I’ve had to take with him in regards to consequences, partly because she’s got other kids to consider.

I’m at my wits end internet. HELP!! I’m doing (or I’ve restarted a star chart to reward good behaviour). I’ve explained to him over and over how his behaviour is affecting me, his carer, and himself but it’s not sinking in yet.

When I do the role play with the dolls, he gets it, and understands that ‘Don’ is being a naughty boy and my hope is that this will sink in and will extend to real life. He really likes the dolls role play thing and I need to explore that more.

Last night when we got home there was a message from my parents asking
if we wanted to meet up for dinner as they are in town. I rang up and
said that I couldn’t because JJ had been so naughty that he was having
a bath, dinner and then straight to bed. He was upset about that
because he loves Nana and Pop and loves the fish and chips he eats when
we meet them for dinner. I missed out too of course and I was upset
that I couldn’t see them, especially as mum’s having an operation of
sorts today.

It’s really hard to get after school care and I don’t want to have to take that option but I may have no choice.

School lunches – or lack thereof

Today I dropped JJ off at school and while I stood around being jumped on by him I observed the teacher from the next room come out and ask a kid what he had for lunch today. I thought this isn’t a run of the mill question – this kid must not bring lunch quite often.

Sure enough, he opened up his lunchbox and all that was in there was a bread roll with only butter or cheese to fill it. My empathy immediately flowed towards this kid. He must be around the same age as JJ and there’s no way JJ could function on only one pathetic bread roll per school day.

Just to compare, in JJ’s lunchbox today is: 1 sandwich with tuna and salad, 1 little bag with some dried fruit and soya crisps, four or five strawberries, about four little cut-up sticks of carrot, a frozen apple juice and a pear. This is also for after school snacks, and it is usually all gone when I pick him up in the evening.

I feel for the kid with the one bread roll. Perhaps his parents think that the school will provide and perhaps the school does.

Luscious strawberry

This year we planted two strawberry plants – two different species. This is the first of the crop. JJ picked when we got home this evening and I rinsed it, took too long trying to take a photo with my macro setting. I then cut it in half and we ate it.

It was scrumptious. Some strawberries I buy from the fruit and vegetable shop are really hard and woody and have no taste. This was nothing like that.

I look forward to eating more – hopefully before the birds get them.

Snippet

JJ is pretty good at washing his hands without being reminded before he sits down for a meal. He remembered to do it this morning because he’d been patting the dog and, as he informed me, scratching his bum.

Here’s a photo of me patting a dog (not sure if it was ours or someone elses) and below that is JJ patting Monty.

Pattingthedog Pattingmonty

First motorbike ride

Yesterday we went to a friend’s place for the afternoon. They have three boys and a little motorbike which the two older ones can ride by themselves. JJ was asked if he wanted to have a ride. Without even thinking he said yes. I wasn’t so sure as he’s still got trainer wheels on his pushbike but with an adult holding on to him off he went.

He loved it and one of these days I guess we’ll be visiting them and he’ll be hooning around by himself. So long as he doesn’t make a motorbike his main mode of transport. I’ve heard of too many people seriously maiming themselves in motorbike accidents and it not necessarily being their fault.

Sometimes as a parent I just have to let go a bit and now that he’s getting older it’s going to happen more and more so I’ll just have to get used to it.