Monthly Archives: June 2009

Journal Photography

I like drives in the hills

Although I’d never admit it in an online profile of any sort I do like going for a drive in the hills – in this instance going up to the Adelaide Hills when they’re beautiful and green and lush.

Because we’ve had so much rain this autumn and even in the first week of winter, the hills are just gorgeous at the moment. On the weekend we visited some friends in the hills who have a bit of land attached to their property.

The trees in the background are theirs.

So is the chook shed. I’m surprised JJ didn’t go in there for a long time doing some chicken talking.

The chook shed

But he probably didn’t because they weren’t actually in their home, but nestled up in a nearby shed.

Chickens

While we were there we noticed one of their sheep had a limp so we herded them into a small yard so the sore leg could be examined more closely.

Onlookers

I grew up on a farm that had sheep so I’m quite used to the ways of sheep, including them not wanting to go anywhere near a human  if they can help it.

Now where?

On any country property that has a bit of room there’s inevitably something rusty. This is from a car that’s been cannibalised for spare parts.

Rust

I’d planned to head home for dinner but we ended up staying (not that late) so our drive home was in the wet, dark and cold but when I got home I lit the fire which I’d prepared earlier and had a quiet night at home in front of the fire – another thing I would never say in an online profile of any sort.

Retrospective

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a girl with two younger sisters. Their parents had been on a two-three week holiday without them but brought them t-shirts back. They made them wear these t-shirts to take a photo and not only that they gave them identical haircuts and made them tuck those t-shirts into their pants.

The girl was kind of sick of looking like her sisters so she thought she’d dress up Spanish for the day. Luckily it coincided with an international theme at school.

The girls parents liked buying more matching items of clothing for the two older girls while the younger girl generally had the hand-me-downs. The girls were also made to collect the eggs and help feed the pigs.

The fife band - Minlaton

The girl played in her school’s fife band and they used to go to Nuriootpa for band competitions every year. (She’s the 2nd one from the left in the top row). The band weren’t really that musical but they looked pretty damn good in their red and white uniforms with the girls wearing bobby socks.

Flower girls

The girls’ aunt got married so she invited the girls to be her flower girls. The girls’ mum made all their dresses while the bride’s mum made hers. The mum kept all the bridesmaid dresses until quite recently but the girl said that she didn’t want to keep it. She didn’t think her son would want to wear it.

Swimming

Once upon a time the girl swam in a swimming pool that didn’t have a great big fence around it. Her Nana always supervised her and her sisters to make sure they were safe. Nana isn’t around any more but her memory definitely lingers on and the girl’s sister lives in the same apartment. The pool is still there too but now it has a great big fence around it and a list of rules as long as your arm.

Parenting

Happy single parent – can it be?

accidentallyonpurposeI recently won a copy from Single Mom Seeking of ‘Accidentally on Purpose: The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother‘ by Mary F Pols.

I liked the first part of the book title – ‘Accidentally on Purpose’ because I can kind of relate to it, but the second part ‘The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother’ really made me think. Am I, a single mother, happy? Can any single mother be happy?

Most of the time I’m happy, or I think I am, and I wonder how other single parents feel? I know a few of them but I’ve never asked them directly if they’re happy or not. I also know that every single parent’s circumstances are quite different and if you’re escaping from an abusive relationship and are living in poverty then it’s unlikely that you’ll be that happy.

I was curious to know what made Mary happy as a single mother. A bit of background: Mary became pregnant after a one night stand at age 39 and decided to keep the baby. She told the baby’s father and she was very lucky that he wanted to be involved. It wasn’t that simple of course, but generally it’s worked out pretty well for her.

Unlike Mary’s situation, my son’s father is not involved with him. He lives in a different country and I’ve lost touch with him. You can read more about about meeting JJ’s father (on Ourstory.com), when I found out I was pregnant, and what it felt like to be pregant while single.

During those early days when I was pregnant and a new mum I don’t think I was that happy. I was stressed. I really missed adult company – especially when I wasn’t working. Now I’m much more at ease being a single mum but I still look at my son in wonder sometimes because I can’t quite believe that he’s mine. It’s a weird feeling when I remember that I’m a mum and that I’m responsible for another human being’s wellbeing.

So now I am more at ease with being a mum and with my situation I am pretty content. When I do feel a bit down I look at the good things in my life – my son and I are healthy, I’ve got a job, we’ve got a pretty good social life and a good network of friends and family, and I’m buying my own house with a manageable mortgage.A good state of mind is so important and quite vital in the happiness stakes.

I could have it so much worse.

So to you single mums, or single dads, are you happy? If you’re not a single parent I’m sure you know some. Are they happy?

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